• Adventures in Babysitting

    Taking Selfies with Alexander
    Taking Selfies with Alexander

    Last weekend at my cousin Andrew and his wife Erin had their second child, Elijah. He was born on Saturday morning and they were due to come home on Sunday evening. Andrew asked me if I could come over and watch their first child, Alexander, for a few hours on Sunday afternoon while he went to the hospital to pick up Erin and the baby.

    Now, anyone who knows me knows that I openly and blatantly hate children. So to ask me to watch my 22 month-old little cousin for 5 hours sounds like a form of torture. He’s actually a pretty good kid and Andrew assured me that he came with a “user manual.” I went to their house at the appointed time and Andrew showed me what Alexander eats, his schedule, and some suggestions for keeping him occupied because as a morning napper, this kid was can it be awake the entire time I was there. And yes, there was a 3-page “manual” in case I needed extra help.

    One of the good things about watching a small child is certain things take longer – like eating. It probably took that kid 20 minutes to eat half a cup of yogurt and a few slices of avocado cut up into squares with me feeding him each bite. I’ve only been around Alexander handful of times so I think he was still a bit leery of me. Having me as the great feeder-person probably earned me some brownie points in his book.

    After snack, we headed out to the backyard so he could “kick the ball.” I set up his little soccer goal and kicked the ball around on the grass. It seemed like we’d been doing that for at least 30 minutes but when I checked my phone it had only been 5! How do parents not to go crazy? Taking care of children can be so boring! (Don’t get mad at me for pointing out the truth. When Erin and Andrew got home with the baby they validated this.)

    Alexander is at the point of verbal development where he repeats everything you say. I had no idea how often I use non-word sound effect noises with my actions until I heard him repeating each one. He thought it was pretty funny. No, I didn’t start swearing just to see if he would repeat it but I did randomly bust out some $5 words to hear him try to say them.

    Thankfully “Elf” was on TV that day. I settled onto the couch to watch it and Alexander bounced between watching TV, playing with his kitchen set, and looking at books. At one point Alexander stopped playing with his toys, sat himself down on the couch right next to me, and started playing with my hand. It was really sweet. I wanted to get a picture of my hand nestled between his but he was distracted by the flash on my camera. So we started taking selfies instead and shot a quick video.

    Andrew asked me to feed the little guy and had I brought over homemade chili and rice for the family. I got out two red oven mitts and put them on the counter. When I turned to put Alexander’s plate in the microwave, Alexander grabbed the mitts, put them on his hands, and walked away saying, “hot mittens.” He looked like a little lobster with those giant oven mitts covering his hands and arms.

    Just about the time I was reaching my kid limit and Alexander was starting to get fussy- tired, his parents came home with baby Elijah. That baby was so cute with his red scrunched up face. I think I’m going to call him Mr. Grump because he looked like a little grumpy old man. When Andrew went to carry Alexander up to bed, Alexander reached out and gave me a hug good night. (Awh…)

    And yes, I got to change diapers during this adventure, including a really gross poopy one – another reason why I’m glad I am not apparent in have no desire to become one.

    Disclaimer: This post was written with the consent of the parents.

  • Typical Night with Night Sweats

    This is my night shirt after a night of night sweats. I took this photo 6 hours after I took this shirt off and it was still drenched!
    This is my night shirt after a night of night sweats. I took this photo 6 hours after I took this shirt off and it was still drenched!

    Unless you’ve experienced it yourself, you can’t understand what it’s like to have night sweats. I’ve had them almost every night at least since early December. We don’t know what’s causing them or how to stop them. I started seeing another cardiologist last week; I hope he’ll know what to do.

    Here’s what a typical night is like for me:

    Getting ready for bed: Put on t-shirt and shorts. Lay out two more t-shirts at the foot of my bed along with my sleep sack for the morning.

    Sometime between 11:30pm and 1:30am: Wake up cold, clammy, and drenched in sweat – I mean drenched: my shirt, shorts, skin, sheets, and pillow. Take off shirt #1. Put on shirt #2. Flip over pillow. Go back to sleep.

    Alarm goes off at 5:15am: Wake up cold and wet again. Turn off alarm. Exchange shirt #2 for shirt #3. Pull on sleep sack and step into slippers. Pad to kitchen to make coffee. (By the way – shirt #1 is still drenched despite air drying for the last four hours.)

    And that’s just about what happens every night for me. It’s so gross to have my skin and sheets covered in human salt. I don’t know how people who have medical conditions that cause this every night deal with it. I’m pretty sure there isn’t a way to sweat through the night gracefully.

    I saw my new cardiologist last week who did a second ultrasound. He’s not convinced that I has atrial septal defect (ASD). He said it might be a patent foramen ovale (PFO). Either way, I have at least one hole in my heart that I’ve had since birth.

    This week we’re going to do a transesophageal echocardiogram to get a clearer picture of what’s going on and then we’ll formulate an action plan from there. The heart is right next to the esophagus so they’re going to knock me out and slide a camera down my throat and look at my heart. They’ll have a lot less to go through compared to an ultrasound that has to decipher what’s going on through muscles, bones, and my lungs. Hopefully this means I’ll have answers soon.

    Of course, being a recovering addict, the first thing I asked when my doctor said I needed this procedure was, “Do I get propofol with that?”

  • To Post or Not To Post

    WordPress Buttons by Alexander Grounder from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
    WordPress Buttons by Alexander Grounder from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

    Anyone who knows me knows I don’t make decisions easily. I mean, watching me try to order a sandwich can be painful. Once a decision is made, it’s made and you’re probably not going to budge me from my position but getting to that point can be a challenge.

    There are a lot of things that I write about that never make it on the blog. When I’m writing about something that I’m really fired up about, I know I’m not always in my most logical mind. (As the great Rocky said, “Anger robs thought.” This fits me to a T.) So before I hit “publish,” it’s not uncommon for me to kick the draft out to one or more people to get feedback before I share it with the world. I lovingly call these people, “The Committee.”

    At any time there are probably about 10 people I consider part of The Committee, and depending on the posting question anywhere from one to all of them will get a copy of what I’m thinking about posting before I decide if it goes out. I had so many strong emotions coursing through my veins as I wrote the post, I Can’t Stay Silent Anymore (probably my most daring post to date), so I knew I needed a second and third opinion before releasing it. Here are some of their reactions – mostly paraphrased. (I’m only referring to them by first initial to protect their identities.)

    B: Sleep on it and see if you still want to release it in the morning.

    E: Why are you hesitating? Posting this is not a bad idea.

    R: It’s a thoughtful post. Go with your gut.

    P: It’s an excellent post. Who better than a victim to truly state the outrage and expose the injustice of the ways this is handled in our society? If you want to put it out there–go for it. The world needs to hear it.

    J: I don’t have time to read this right now. I have a massive brief due.

    (That last one was just to show you that my Committee is composed of real people whose worlds do not revolve around me.)

    I feel very lucky that I have amazing friends and confidants who let me vent, support me when I’m doing the right thing, and tell me when I’m wrong. I couldn’t do what I do without you.