The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Cyberbullying: What’s A Kid To Do

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    Ruth Carter

    Disclaimer: I am not a lawyer.  This blog should not be viewed as legal advice.  It is simply my experiences, opinions, and information I looked up on the internet.

    Last week, the world was saddened to learn about the suicide of Jamey Rodemeyer. This 14 year-old was repeatedly bullied by his peers since the fifth grade. To the outside world, it seemed like this was a child with enough self-esteem to overcome this adversity. He had support from his therapist, social worker, friends, and family. He even made a video for the It Gets Better Project where he said, “All you have to do is hold your head up and you’ll go far.” All of this support wasn’t enough to keep Jamey from taking his own life.

    Summary http://www.epa.gov/win/winnews/images0...
    Image via Wikipedia

    According to reports, Jamey was repeated bullied at school and online. It’s not uncommon for victims of bullying to remain quiet because they are too ashamed to report that they are being victimized. Also, many teens feel a need to be independent and handle their problems on their own. They need to know that they have resources and recourse for addressing cyberbullying when it occurs.

    Here are my top three tips for responding to cyberbullying.

    1. Limit Who Has Access To You Online
    Jamey received hateful messages via Formspring. In his It Gets Better video, he admitted it was a mistake to create a Formspring account. It allowed people to send him hateful messages anonymously. I wish Jamey knew he could have avoided this harassment. You can adjust your Formspring settings to disallow anonymous postings. It won’t stop all the harassing posts, but it will stop anyone who is too cowardly to let their name be seen. Likewise on Facebook, you can adjust your settings so certain people can’t see you at all or so that only your friends can send you messages or post on your wall. On Twitter, you can block people who are harassing you.

    2. Report Abuse To The Website Where It Occurs
    If you’re being harassed on a social media website, report it! Formspring, Twitter, and Facebook all have policies against using their sites to abuse other users. The same holds true for email providers. I suspect these site start by warning users who violate their terms of service, but they don’t change their behavior, they could have their account suspended.

    3. Keep A Record Of The Abuse
    I know it’s hard to do, but don’t delete abusive posts, emails or text messages. Take screenshots of posts online in case the bully deletes it later. It’s easier to prove you’re being abused when there’s hard evidence. It’s not a he said-she said situation at that point.

    It takes a lot of courage to stand up for yourself and report abuse. I know it’s scary, but remember that reporting abuse is a sign of strength, not a sign of weakness.

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  • Heartbreak of Cyberbullying

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    Ruth Carter

    One of the legal issues that pulls at my heart strings is cyberbullying, especially when it involves kids.  It’s hard enough to be a young person when you don’t have to worry about being taunted and threatened every day.  With regular bullying, students dread going to school.  With cyberbullying, students can be constantly harassed by their peers via emails, text messages, or worse – a website dedicated to torturing them. I was cyberharassed at school last year, and it was awful.  For the first time ever, I was afraid to go to school, and I was 30 years old with the support of family, friends, and my school’s administration in my corner.  I can’t image what it would be like to go through the same thing as a kid and alone.

    I hope with my law degree, I can help students and schools combat and prevent the bullying of children.  My heart breaks every time I hear about another student taking their own life, in part because of bullying.

    Big rainbow flag hanging on side of building
    Image via Wikipedia

    Arizona has a law that requires schools to have policies and procedures in place regarding harassment, intimidation, and bullying on school property, buses, bus stops, and at school sponsored events.  Schools must investigate suspected bullying and disciplinary procedures for those who are found guilty.  A revision to this law was proposed in February 2011 – SB 1549.  This law would expand harassment to include behaviors involving school computers, networks, forums, and mailing lists.  I think this is a good start, but I wish it would be expanded to specifically include any harassment that occurs on school grounds or at a school sponsored event that occurs via any electronic means.  This could expand the definition of harassment to include text messages and any communication that occurs via the internet on a school computer or a student’s smartphone that is present on school property.

    Central High School in Phoenix was kind enough to send me their current policies and procedures for addressing bullying and harassment.  Their definitions for harassment and bullying seem to encompass all the behaviors that should be prevented in schools.  I was also pleased to see that their rules already address cyberbullying and that the procedures include involving the police if warranted.  It suggests that they take bullying seriously and address it as such.

    I would have liked to have seen their definition of harassment specifically include harassment based on sexual orientation.  Given that gay teens are much more likely to attempt suicide than their heterosexual counterparts, schools have an obligation to keep a special eye out of these kids.

    Unfortunately, a rule is worthless unless it is enforced.  Historically, teachers at schools across the nation have turned a blind eye to bullying or tell gay kids to expect harassment if they’re going to act like sissies.  I feel horrible for any student who is legally obligated to attend school where they are harassed on a daily basis, with disciplinary system in place that isn’t being utilized, and an administration that turns a blind eye to these kids’ pain.  I hope that there’s something I can do after graduation to address these problems, whether it’s by empowering school administrations to support these kids or helping to protect these kids who cannot protect themselves.

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  • I Was Cyberbullied – Part 4 of 4

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    Ruth Carter

    This is the final installation of my four-part story with cyberbullying. You can read it from the beginning here. Back to the story . . .

    After finals were over, I filed a formal report with the Office of Student Rights and Responsibilities. They said there was nothing they could do at that point, but that people like her engage in the same behavior repeatedly. They suggested that I send my bully an email informing her that any future contact was unwanted and would be reported to the university as harassment. If she contacted me again, it would be actionable. I disagreed with their assessment, but I sent my bully the email.

    Seclusion & Serenity by Iwona Erskine-Kellie

    Thankfully, my bully only had one more semester of school and we didn’t have any classes together. If we had been in any of the same classes, I would have asked the school to make her change. It was still nerve-wracking to see her on campus, but we never had direct contact again. Last I heard, she moved to California. Shortly after graduation, I blocked my bully and my other former exec on Facebook. Doing that made me feel like I was closing the door on that chapter of my life.

    I had an unsettling experience last week with my bully – she asked to connect on LinkedIn! I was surprised she would want to be a connection given her animosity towards me. I suspect she uploaded all her contacts to her LinkedIn account and requested to connect with all of them, not thinking that there might be people in her contacts list that she doesn’t want to be connected to. I looked for the ability to block someone on LinkedIn and was shocked to learn that LinkedIn doesn’t provide that ability. The best you can do is deny someone the ability to connect with you. I expected them to have a stronger anti-harassment provision. I would like to block her on that site too, but that is not an option at this time.

    So there’s my story. It was hellaciously stressful to be the victim of cyberbullying. I’m so grateful that I had support from my friends, my family, and the law school. I can’t imagine how much worse it could have been if I had to endure it alone. Unfortunately, that’s what happens to too many children. They’re ostracized from their peers and they’re too afraid to ask for help from their parents or teachers.

    To all the victims of cyberbullying, I know it’s hard to admit that you’re being bullied, and I know it’s scary to ask for help, but do it. You don’t have to go through this alone and you don’t have to continue to be the victim.

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