The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Undeniable Recap of 2025

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    Ruth Carter

    I’m not going to lie – 2025 was kind of a brutal year – on this planet, in my country, in my life, and in my head. But everything didn’t suck. I’m glad I keep a running Word document as well as a happy memories jar throughout the year so I can look back and see the good things that happened. Likewise, I’m glad I have this blog where I can share some of them with you.

    Below are my top events from the year, lessons I learned (or re-learned), and things I experienced for the first time. What may not be obvious, especially since I’m an anxious introvert, is how much I value the people in my life. Without further ado, here are the top five events from my life in 2025:

    The Trump Transitions Documentary

    A documentary team was inspired to create a film that examined the impact of Felon 47’s executive orders that limited gender options to only male and female, restricted access to hormone replacement therapy, and eliminated the option of changing your gender on your U.S. passport. They asked me to be part of it after they saw my testimony before the Arizona House of Representatives’ Government Committee against HB2062, which would have limited gender options in Arizona to only male and female.

    Each of us who testified were allotted only a few minutes to speak, and I was blown away when Republican Representative Blackman told me to continue even after the time limit passed.

    The resulting documentary, The Trump Transitions, shines a light on what it’s like to be transgender in the USA during this administration. Their interview with me focused on passports and how it feels to face discrimination on an institutional level. I currently have a non-binary passport, but unless the rules change, when it’s up for renewal in 2032, the State Department will only issue a passport with the gender I was assigned at birth. Likewise, even though I should be able to travel internationally, I don’t feel like I can leave the country because I’m afraid the administration will change the rules while I’m away and I’ll have trouble getting back into the USA.

    Other transgender people who were interviewed for the documentary discussed their experiences with things like losing access to gender-affirming health care and facing discrimination in the workplace. I’m grateful that this film exists because it shows people who don’t have a transgender person in their life some of the challenges we face on a daily basis.

    Ironman Lake Placid: 15:57:00

    Coach David Roher and I did our third Ironman Lake Placid together in July 2025.

    The forecast predicted a touch of rain for just the first few hours of the race, but the forecast was wrong. Instead, it was dry through the swim, and then it rained for 3 hours during the bike portion of the race. The bike course is two 56-mile loops through Lake Placid and the surrounding cities, including a 9% decline from Placid into Keene. On the first loop, it wasn’t raining and I flew down this hill, reaching speeds up to 36mph, being passed by racers going more than 50mph. By the second loop, it was raining so hard, we couldn’t see the details of the roadway. Even the atheists were praying they wouldn’t hit a rock or a divot that would send them crashing to the ground. I death-gripped my brakes to keep from going too fast.

    Coach David caught up with me towards the end of the second loop, and we had a do-si-do pattern where he’d pass me going up the hills, and I’d pass him going down the hills and on the flat portions. Because of the rain, I couldn’t ride as fast as I would have liked, and so, as a result, I was on the bike longer than I expected and my legs were more tired by the time I finished – and I still had a marathon to run. Run?! Who was I kidding, I could jog at best, and often not even that. I finished Ironman Lake Placid in 15 hours, 57 minutes, the longest race of my life to date. I burst into tears when I crossed that finish line from joy and exhaustion. Coach David got his wife a VIP  pass so she could be there to hug each of us when we crossed the finish line.

    After I crossed the finish line, I was so cold I went to the warming tent to wait for Coach David to finish. My legs were so sore after the race, I needed a medic to help lower me into a chair. As you know, I don’t carry my phone with me during Ironman. When I finally got back to my room, it made me so happy to see all the messages from friends who tracked me from afar.

    It’s our tradition to start the race holding hands.

    Surprising Godfather and the Spawn

    My friend Joe and his son, Adam, came to Phoenix to watch some Cleveland Guardians spring training games. Their itinerary was full, and the Cleveland Guardians spring training facility is on the other side of the valley from where I live, so I knew Joe wouldn’t have time to hang out, but I wanted to at least say hi.

    I enlisted Joe’s wife, Pam, who gave me their flight information and some suggestions about what type of snacks and drinks they might like. After a 4-hour flight, with probably another hour to go to get their rental car and drive to their hotel, I figured they’d be hungry.

    While Joe and Adam were on their flight to Phoenix, I assembled a tote bag of their goodies and stapled a sign to it that said, “Godfather and the Spawn,” like it was the name of a rock band. I felt like I was on a mission. With the tote bag in one hand, and Lucy’s leash in the other, we headed to the airport and positioned ourselves just beyond security.

    Joe’s jaw dropped with surprise and joy when he saw us, and he gave me a big hug. I wasn’t going to let my friend come to town and not see him, if only for a few minutes. I gave them their tote bag of snacks and wished them a good time at spring training.

    Missing accomplished.

    Meet and Greet with Guy Raz

    I was so excited when Content Marketing World announced that the big keynote speaker was Guy Raz, the host of How I Built This. I gleefully sat in the front row and took a lot of notes. After his talk, I was one of the lucky ones who was invited backstage for a brief meet and greet.

    Guy Raz couldn’t have been nicer. I knew I had to keep it brief, so I asked only one question – his advice for me for getting back into writing. I expected him to give a quick 2 sentence answer, but he acted like he had all the time in the world and gave me some thoughtful suggestions. And of course, he gushed over Lucy Jane.

    Karaoke at MPB2B

    I had the pleasure of attending and speaking at MarketingProfs B2B Forum in November 2025. This is a top-notch marketing conference with some of the best speakers in the business, some of whom I’m lucky enough to call my friends. The event also has fantastic morning and evening events to bookend each day – one of which was karaoke.

    As a classically trained soprano, you might be surprised to hear that I was petrified to get on that stage and sing. Most of these people had never heard me sing before, and I didn’t want to embarrass myself or do something that might make the audience think I’m not as good as I know I can be. (I hope that didn’t sound conceited.)

    I didn’t want to not sing and regret it later, so I put myself on the list to sing “Defying Gravity” from Wicked. I was so scared, and what helped were the supportive audience and especially the people who were on the list before me. They performed with a vibe that screamed, “This is what we’re doing tonight,” and they showed me it was ok to trip over the words here and there.

    When it was my turn, I gave myself permission to act like I had the confidence of a toddler wearing a superhero cape. I let go of my fear and sang my heart out.

    Was it my best performance ever? No.

    Did I get on that stage and own it? Yes.

    Seeing Hamilton on the Big Screen

    I love the musical Hamilton – the music, the choreography, the costumes, even the member of the ensemble who plays the “Bullet.” When the touring show came to Arizona in 2024, I treated myself to a front row seat in the balcony so I could see everything on the stage, unobstructed, including the double rotating turntables.

    2024 was the first time I saw Hamilton, apart from clips I’d seen online. Disney+ had a cinematic version of the show it made available in 2020 during the pandemic, but I never saw it because I don’t have Disney+, or any streaming service for that matter.

    When they announced, for Hamilton’s 10th anniversary, that the Disney+ version of the show was going to be released in movie theaters, I immediately bought my ticket. I purposely went to the first showing, at 11:30am, to avoid the crowd. It was amazing to see the show again, but all the actors now were 20 feet tall. It was amazing to see so many details you can’t see from the audience during the stage show, and I loved seeing the original Broadway cast. I’m still listening to songs from the soundtrack on at least a weekly basis, if not daily.

    Lessons Learned (or Re-learned)

    Chewing gum can help get a song out of your head.

    This is called a “spurtle.” It’s a cooking utensil for stirring things. There’s been one in my kitchen my entire life, and I never knew what it was called. Hat tip to Matteo Lane.

    I’m meant to wear jumpsuits and rompers.

    Best fake number to give out: 248-434-5508

    If you don’t have a club card for a store, input your area code + 867-5309. It usually works.

    My blazer size is 38S slim, but I can’t wear the corresponding slim pants because I have an ass. When you say this to a store clerk, they may laugh uncontrollably.

    If you create a bingo square for your goals, if you don’t have a plan to actually achieve them, you probably won’t.

    When using ChatGPT, at the end of your prompt, add, “Ask me questions, one at a time, until you have the information you need to properly respond to my prompt.” Hat tip to Christopher Penn.

    Sometimes an off-handed comment inspires an act of awesomeness – When I was invited to speak at the Creator Economy Expo (CEX), I jokingly said the speakers’ lounge should be stocked with Mitchell’s ice cream. At CEX, one of the staff members brought me a pint of Mitchell’s vegan chocolate ice cream at the speakers’ party. It’s so good – rich like chocolate mousse.

    This is the gender fluid flag.

    Omnisexual, pansexual, and bisexual are similar but different sexual orientations.

    The trans flag was created in Phoenix, AZ. I learned the street address where this happened. I wish we could have a plaque there, but I’m afraid it would be a target for vandalism.

    If you have an X on your IDs and you select the “non-binary” or “unspecified,” the airline might not let you check in for your flight online.

    Writing “they/them” on your event badge in a color of ink that stands out is more effective at communicating your pronouns than sticking the “they/them” ribbon to the bottom of your badge.

    From running the Mesa Marathon:

    • Before the race, put everything you might need for the first 48 hours after the race at tabletop level, because after the race, bending down may be nearly impossible. 
    • Make yourself eat, even if you’re not hungry, before the race. If you get hungry during the race, that means you’re out of fuel, and your pace will plummet.

    While volunteering at Aimee’s Farm Animal Sanctuary:

    • Turkeys can hiss.
    • Pigeons are not bright.
    • Ducks are really good at hiding their eggs.
    • It’s fun to track the baby animals’ growth by taking photos of them next to my boot for the size comparison.
    Baby Blaze with my Boot – only a few weeks old

    From doing Ironman:

    • Ask for the Ironman race number you want. They just might give it to you.
    • The armband that normally holds your phone when you’re working out is the right size to hold your Gatorade powder refills when you’re racing.
    • Always put a fresh pair of socks, a towel, and baby powder in your T2 bag (the bag that holds your running gear) so you can start the run with dry feet.

    Firsts

    Bought and used the Big A## Calendar so I could see my entire year at the same time.

    Joined Costco.

    Had a colonoscopy – I lost 4 pounds overnight and had doctor-administered good drugs. There’s no downside. If you’re 45 or older, don’t put this off.

    Bought and wore a Speedo-style bathing suit with a drawstring at the waist.

    Participated in a silent disco – everyone wears wireless headphones with three channels of music to choose from, and non-participants can’t hear it – and I danced like no one was watching.

    Broke a porcelain inlay with my teeth and subsequently got my 1st crown.

    Bit through an Invisalign tray, in my sleep, while wearing a night guard. (Yes, I’m that talented.)

    Bought and used a cooling blanket instead of a top sheet all summer. I don’t know how it works, but it works. Met Buddy and Draco Williams, our friends’ basset hounds, who I call Lucy Jane’s cousins.

    Went for a run in an unfamiliar city with Google Maps feeding me directions in my headphones.

    Bought my nibling a Hugimal (weighted stuffed animal) for her birthday, and before I wrapped it, I cuddled it on my lap for over an hour while I scrolled through my social media.

    Events

    Attended CactusCon – it’s like Def Con but less scary.

    Took Lucy Jane to Copa Paws and Claws to hang out in the AZ Basset Hound Rescue booth and show everyone how awesome bassets are.

    Foods

    CocoWhip, a coconut-based vegan Cool Whip-like product. It’s pretty good.

    Nyla, sparkling pickle juice. It’s weird but not bad.

    Sites

    Bisbee, Arizona

    USA-Mexico border and the wall

    Boston Marathon Finish Line

    Newly installed Superman sculpture in Cleveland, OH.

    Public art in Cleveland that says “Things Change” or “Change Things” depending on how you look at it. This really moved me.

    In Memoriam

    Hoomans: Elisa Rae Shupe, George Wendt, Brian Wilson, Giorgio Armani, Cynthia Zimmerman, Kathy Campos, Judge Frank Caprio, Jane Goodall, Diane Keaton, Rob and Michele Reiner, Troy Foster, Barry Halvorson

    Animal Friends: Cinder, Newton, Harvey, Winston, Pepe, Scooter, Emmett, Gretta, Hanna, Tom Tom

  • Undeniable Recap of 2023

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    Ruth Carter

    It’s been an eventful, and often exhausting, year. I learned a lot about what’s important to me and what it means to be true to myself – hopefully more to come with those ideas in 2024!

    Here are my top five events from 2023:

    Top Surgery

    When my eyes fluttered open in the recovery room as my anesthesia was wearing off after top surgery, I looked down at my bandaged chest and thought “Yes!” with a smile. The next morning was even better when my surgeon’s physician assistant cut off the bandages and put me in the binder I had to wear during the initial healing. My chest was flat!

    I’ve felt nothing but happiness and joy in my new body – finally feeling like I have the body I’m supposed to have. One of my goals for 2024 is to share the full story of getting top surgery.

    Ropes Course Day

    After top surgery, I knew I wouldn’t be able to extend my arms above my head for six weeks. To enjoy the full use of my body before then, on the Friday before my surgery, I went to Flagstaff to do the Extreme Adventure Course with my friends, Nicole and Ariel. It was so fun to climb the trees and do the five levels of obstacles for about four hours.

    Taking Lucy Jane to the Beach

    Lucy loves being near the water – as long as she doesn’t have to touch it. I took her to Long Beach for a long weekend so she could experience Rosie’s Dog Beach. She had so much fun running and frolicking along the water’s edge.

    Marathon Personal Record: 4:22:59

    I sign up for races because they motivate me to work out. And they’re fun – in a masochistic kind of way. A marathon is a distance I won’t do on my own. I need the support and excitement of race day to run that far.

    And then the Boston Marathon added a non-binary division. Whereas, my goal before was merely to finish, now I want to be fast enough to qualify for this venerated race. I shaved 11 minutes off my previous personal best this year – still a ways to go before I reach my ultimate goal, but I was excited to see so much improvement.

    Seeing My Friends

    I keep a jar on my bedside table, and every time something good happens, I write it down and add it to the jar. As I reviewed my happy memories from 2023, I saw that the majority of them were times spent with friends – often doing nothing exciting, just hanging out, enjoying each other’s company.

    Even though I’m an introvert, and I need my down time, it’s becoming more obvious how much I enjoy and value staying connected to my friends. Whether it’s the friends I see every week when I volunteer at Aimee’s Farm Animal Sanctuary or the people that I see only a few times a year, you are all important to me.

    Lessons Learned (or Re-learned)

    Don’t put your face between the floor and the bed where your excited dog is likely to try to jump onto the bed through your nose

    Don’t let direct sun hit your healing tattoo that’s covered with “second skin.” It feels like you’re cooking your skin/flesh.

    Barely jogging is noticeably faster than walking.

    The “purple spray” antiseptic used to treat the animal’s minor injuries at the farm sanctuary stains your skin purple.

    Don’t ride your bike in running shorts. Always wear bike shorts. That 2mm of padding makes a big difference!

    There is only one correct way to spell “Chanukah.”

    According to my Garmin, I sleepwalk.

    Firsts

    Non-binary Race – Mesa Marathon

    Spending a night in a hospital (not including when I was born)

    Walking outside without a shirt after top surgery

    Washing a cow

    Finding $5 at the bottom of a pool – 13 feet down

    Bone-conducting headphones

    Walking across a state line – VA to DC

    Biking up South Mountain to Dobbins Lookout

    Food Firsts: Dole Whip (yum!), Cinnaholic cinnamon roll (yum!), starfruit (meh), oatmilk soft serve (pretty good)

    First Visits to Sites: Cabazon Dinosaurs (CA), Giant Penny (CA), Continental Divide (NM), Suffragettes statues (TN), Parthenon replica (TN), Lincoln Memorial (DC), Albert Einstein Memorial (DC), Dr. Bob’s House – birthplace of AA (OH), Location of the Boston Tea Party (MA), Edgar Allan Poe statue (MA), World’s Biggest Wooden Gavel (IL), USA’s 2nd Largest Cross (IL), and Giant Cross with creepy life-size Stations of the Cross and homophobic propaganda (TX)

    Giant cross = Open space with grass = Good place to stop on a road trip for Lucy to stretch her legs

    Lucy’s Firsts

    Trip to the beach

    Subway ride

    Doggy backpack

    Doggy pajamas

    Adulting Merit Badges Earned

    Purchased a major appliance (clothes washer)

    Went to State Capitol to testify at a House of Representatives Committee meeting

    Learned how to drive a tractor

    Replaced a knob on my clothes dryer

    In Memoriam

    Hoomans: Burt Bacharach, Richard Belzer, Jim McHugh, Edward Kavanaugh (aka Prince K), Tina Turner, Bruce Press, Alan Arkin, Tony Bennett, Sinead O’Connor, Paul Reubens, Perry Nelson, Suzanne Somers, Richard Moll, Matthew Perry, Jeanne Seivert, Jesús Ociel Baena, Sandra Day O’Connor

    Animal Friends: Ingrid, Gracie, Mochi, Poppi, Jonesy

    Thank you to everyone who made 2023 a good year for me. Looking forward to more adventures and good memories in 2024.

  • The Evolution of this Vegan

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    Ruth Carter

    If you told me 20 years ago that I was going to be a devoted vegan, I probably would have laughed. And the reason would have been simple: animal products taste good.

    • Burgers are delicious.
    • Pizza is awesome.
    • Cheesecake can be so good, it’s “orgasmic.”

    I’ve never been opposed to veganism; I just didn’t think it was something I would want to do. As a student at Oregon State University, I learned a lot of the basics merely by being around people who were vegan. When “The L Word” came out, two of our friends were roommates and they got Showtime. Every Sunday, we’d all come over to watch it, and everyone had to either bring a dollar to offset their cable bill or vegan snack.

    Omnivore to Vegetarian

    I love documentaries, and a few years ago, I started watching films about food including, Food Inc., and it churned my stomach to see how factory farming works in the United States. The conditions in which these animals are raised and killed are despicable. I agree with the saying that if more people knew how factory farm animals lived and died, they couldn’t eat them.

    After seeing a number of these films, I didn’t feel comfortable eating meat, knowing what I knew about how farm animals went from birth to packages of meat in the store. I thought fish didn’t have feelings, so I decided it was ok to still eat them. When I learned that that wasn’t true, I gave up fish.

    Going Vegan

    It was actually Dog by Dog, documentary movie about dog breeding that made me think, “If I’m not ok with any animal suffering, then I need to give up dairy and eggs.” I was deluding myself into thinking it was ok to eat these because an animal didn’t die for my meal, but often still live horrible lives. If I wanted to have integrity around this issue, then I needed to be vegan. One thing that I can do is vote with my wallet and lessen the demand for animal products.

    I let myself finish the animal products I had in my house, and started looking for vegan replacements. I had already switched out the meat in my diet for more grains and legumes. I replaced the half and half in my coffee with vanilla almond milk. I bought vegan butter. I was grateful to see that my favorite soup base also has vegan varieties. I bought vegan cookbooks and searched the internet for new recipes.  

    I am sensitive to soy, so I eat mostly low soy and soy-free products. Sometimes that limits my options for vegan products, but that’s something I mostly encounter when I’m looking into meat-replacement products, which is something I rarely do. The only meat substitute I buy with any regularity is Trader Joe’s Hi-Protein Veggie Burger patties, which are made with pea protein.  

    This was the day I knew I never wanted to eat a beef burger again.

    Caveats and Exceptions

    I used to have caveats or make exceptions to being vegan. Early on in my journey towards veganism, I use to eat animal products if they were from a certified humane source. My justification was that these animals were well-treated and had a good life before they became my lunch. That worked for my for a while, until I spent a day volunteering at Aimee’s Farm Animal Sanctuary, cuddling Adorabull, a newborn calf who was brought to the farm after being abandoned in a ditch. He was sick little guy, and as I stroked his head, I knew I never wanted a beef burger again.

    Apparently, others who have visited the farm sanctuary have come away with similar thoughts about changing their diets. Aimee doesn’t tell anyone who visits what they should or shouldn’t eat. Merely being with the animals inspires some people to re-think what they eat.

    I also used to have an exception when I traveled and I would shift to vegetarianism if it wasn’t convenient to be vegan. I don’t give myself that out anymore. When I go to a restaurant, if there isn’t a vegan option, I look at the menu as a list of ingredients and make my own meal or I end up ordering a bunch of sides instead of an entrée. Thankfully it’s become easier to find all-vegan restaurants or restaurants with plenty of vegan options.

    Committing to Full Veganism

    It’s actually not hard to be vegan. I usually have oatmeal for breakfast and add in vanilla protein powder, chia seeds, ground flax seeds, pumpkin seeds, and sliced banana. For lunch and dinner, a common meal for me is rice, beans, and a vegetable or I meal prep soup over the weekend. I’m on a lentil soup kick right now. Between meals I like to have fruit, dried fruit, veggie sticks, almonds, pretzels, and/or chips. It’s rare if I’m craving something that there isn’t a vegan option or something that is “close enough.”

    Being vegan has been great for helping me avoid a lot of junk food. It’s easy to say no to things like cookies in the office, or when I get pizza now, it’s just crust, sauce, and veggies, which is much healthier than what I used to order.

    About a year ago, I saw this video by Merle O’Neal talking about why she went vegan, and her words embody a lot of why I went vegan, more than what I could put in a post.