I don’t like things touching the front of my neck.
I don’t own turtlenecks.
I don’t wear kerchiefs or fashion scarves around my neck.
When I go to the salon, I ask them to make the drape one
snap looser.
Sometimes I can’t even wear crewneck t-shirts because – you
guessed it – the edge of the shirt barely touches my neck.
When I picked out my wetsuit, I got one with the lowest
neckline I could find. It still touches my neck. Actually, my wetsuit is snug
around my neck. It’s snug around every part of my body. That’s how wetsuits
work.
When I’m wearing my wetsuit and I go from being vertical and
walking into the water to horizontally swimming in it, the discomfort becomes
more intense as going face down puts extra pressure across the front of my
neck. (If past lives are real, I’m pretty sure I either drowned or was
strangled in one of them.) Add in being hit by other swimmers and unable to
find my swimming cadence, and it’s enough to make me panic.
Heading into Ironman Mont Tremblant, I’m
trying to work on this. I don’t want to start this race with a panic attack.
I can’t control how choppy the water is.
I can’t control other swimmers bumping into me.
What I can do is force myself to get used to swimming with
something snug around my neck. (I know some athletes cut their wetsuits to
lower the neckline, but I don’t want to do that.)
My chokers, courtesy of the junior section at Target.
I bought myself a set of five stretchy choker necklaces,
popular among tweens and young teens. I look like a person having a mid-life
crisis when I wear them.
Before I leave the house for the pool, I pull one of these
things on, and I don’t take it off until I’m back. I figure the more I wear it,
the sooner I’ll get over the heebie
jeebies of having something touching my neck.
For my first day wearing a choker to the pool, I opted to
wear the red one so if the feeling of it touching my neck was too much and I
ripped it off mid-lap, I could easily find it in the water and not litter in
the pool.
Thankfully, that didn’t happen. I don’t notice it when I’m
swimming. Once I’m fully used to wearing one necklace, I may try wearing two,
then three, at a time, so I can get used to the material covering more of my
neck.
Hopefully, this exercise will teach me that I can have something snug against my neck without feeling like I’m choking myself.
Arizona
has joined the number of states that has proposed legislation that would ban
male-to-female transgender athletes from competing in female sports unless
they have a doctor’s note that proves that they’re female. This law would
impact athletes at every from level from K-12 schools to community colleges and
state universities.
Photo by Ted Eytan from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
Why
We’re Having This Debate
The
surge of proposed laws followed news stories last year where a female track and
field athlete claimed that male-to-female transgender athletes were unfairly allowed
to compete in the girls’ division. The trans athletes finished a race higher than
she did, which she claimed cost her the opportunity to compete at the regional
race, which could impact her ability to get a college scholarship.
What
I didn’t like about the reporting of this story is that most reports didn’t
state whether the trans athletes were on hormone blockers and/or on hormone
replacement therapy which would have made it a more level field than a
cisgender male competing in a female sport. By the way, they’re
both on hormones replacement therapy.
School Athletics May be the Only Option
My
first thought when I heard about this proposed law in Arizona, was that trans athletes
should bypass political issues in school and compete on club teams. A teacher
friend pointed out that club teams are often very expensive, so the only option
to participate in sports is to play on a school team.
Is
It Talent or Testosterone?
Transgender
girls are girls. They should be allowed to participate in girls’ activities,
whether we are talking about Girl Scouts, entering a nunnery, or playing
sports. Forcing a transgender girl to participate in boys’ activities or be left
out is discriminatory and potentially devastating to her mental health.
In
the situation of athletics, I wonder how much of is this outcry based on
fairness and how much is based on transphobia. Are girls afraid of being beaten
by someone they view as less than a girl?
It’s
worth asking how much of these trans athletes’ success is based on talent or
testosterone. History suggests that cisgender men have physical advantages over
women in many sports. In looking at Olympic Records where men and women both
compete in same types of events (e.g., track and field, weightlifting, etc.)
the record held by the man is higher, faster, better than the women’s record. That’s
why we created Title
IX – to give women equal access to participate. But once a trans athlete
has the same hormone level as their cisgender counterparts, I wonder if the
cisgender athletes are claiming it’s unfair, but they’re using the competitions’
trans status to complain that they didn’t win.
It’s
Time to Re-Examine Division in Sports
It’s
time we re-examine how we divide participants in sports. With growing
acceptance that there are more
than two genders, which is backed by law in at least
17 states and Washington D.C., the traditional division of boys/men and
girls/women is no longer sufficient. I’m a non-binary
athlete (with a birth certificate to prove it), and when I sign up for a
race, I rename the divisions “testosterone†and “estrogen†and select
accordingly.
The
International Olympic Committee (IOC) has guidelines regarding male-to-female athletes
and the testosterone level they must have to compete in the women’s division. Lower
level sports should adopt similar rules and require every athlete to have their
testosterone level checked, and only those with a level above the threshold should
be allowed to participate in the testosterone division.
(A
friend suggested that the athlete’s sensitivity to testosterone should also be
tested for it is possible for a cisgender woman to have a high testosterone
level and body that is completely insensitive to it, so she won’t reap any athletic
benefits from having this higher level.)
Photo by tableatny from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
Where
Change Should Start
In
thinking about this issue, if we want schools to change how athletes are
divided instead of using gender in the U.S., the National Collegiate Athletic
Association (NCAA) should be the leader. If NCAA schools change from men’s and
women’s sport to divisions based on hormones, public and private high schools
will follow suit since many of the best high school athletes aspire to receive
scholarships to compete in college.
I
sent an email to the Chair of the Board
of Directors for NCAA Division I, encouraging them to modify the classification
of athletes instead of using gender identity. I don’t expect a response beyond
a cursory, “Thank you for your message,†but hopefully it will plant a seed
that change is needed.
Sister
Laws for Access to Trans Medical Care
If
states are going to pass laws that will limit male-to-female trans athletes
from participating in sports, they need to a pass sister laws that allow for adequate
and affordable access to medical care for transgender people, including the
ability to access care without parental consent, and laws that allow non-binary
and transgender people to change their birth certificates and driver’s licenses
to reflect their gender.
For the last eight years, I’ve been an eat-what-you-kill entrepreneur, no steady paycheck, total freedom to do whatever I want.
I
can’t imagine working a traditional 9-to-5 again.
I still sit on tables.
Freedom
“Freedomâ€
is the goal in my life – freedom to do, to see, to create, to live. Being an
entrepreneur allows me to pick when and where I work, to handpick my clients,
and to decide what else I want to do besides practice law (speak, write,
travel, teach, etc.).
One
of the reasons why I started Carter Law Firm back in 2012 was not only because
the Phoenix job market for lawyers was poor and I was basically unemployable as
a blogger/flash mobber, but also because I didn’t want to be an associate at a
firm that would want me to work 80 hours/week and wouldn’t want me to be a
public speaker. I changed careers to be happy. I didn’t want to settle for a
potentially soul-sucking existence.
Joining
Venjuris
Becoming an Of Counsel practitioner at Venjuris was one of the best decisions I’ve made in my career. I was looking for more stability and support, and they were looking for lateral hire with their own book of business. Being Of Counsel (legalese for independent contractor) means I’m still in an eat-what-you-kill work environment.
It’s
been a mutually beneficial arrangement – I’ve been able to take on litigation
clients, and they’ve expanded the firm’s practice areas to include internet
law. Plus, they’re privy to my knowledge about social media and content
marketing, and I do in-house continuing legal education (CLEs) for them.
Fear
The
day I decided to become an entrepreneur, I was so scared, I sweat through my
sundress. I still get scared all the time – every time I launch a new project, step up on a stage to speak,
or when I have a lull in client work. (Client work seems to be feast or feminine.
It’s usually when I haven’t had work or prospects in three days and I’m
starting to worry that I’m going to have to survive on ramen, that I get a
handful of emails from prospective or returning clients.)
Fear
has become part of my process. Whenever I’m scared, I remind myself that I’m
doing the best I can and that everyone around me wants the best for me. That
helps me calm down and trust that everything will work out.
I’ve
always been a bit of an existentialist. I have to know that what I do makes a
difference. I can’t just create widgets and send them out into the void. I had
a summer job, that was a bad fit personality-wise, doing mostly legal research,
and it seemed like nothing I did mattered. It wasn’t until my last week that I learned
than my research had resulted in changes in company policy.
One
of the upsides of working for myself is I get to leave the office when I’m done
with my work for the day – even if it’s only mid-afternoon, sometimes earlier.
I don’t have to pretend to look busy. When I have downtime, I get to work on
other projects, or take time for myself. When you work for yourself, you don’t
get in trouble for leaving the office early or running errands in the middle of
the day.
Over
the last eight years, I’ve learned that no one cares when or where I get my
work done, as long as it gets done well and on time. I’m so lucky that I’ve
crafted a life that allows me to attempt to live a Renaissance life. There’s no
difference between me the person and me the professional. I consider all the
work I do to be valuable. Ultimately, my job is to be the best version of me I
can be, and I get paid for some of it.