• Open Water Swim Training Update

    After a brutal swim at the Half Ironman in Maine last year, I knew I’d be spending part of my off season practicing open water swimming. In the pool, I can see where I’m going, I have my own lane space, and I can put my feet down whenever I want. Open water swimming is the opposite of all that, plus I’m in a wetsuit. Mine has a lower neckline compared to other wetsuits, but it’s snug against my neck, especially when I rotate my body to be parallel to the ground to swim. I always have to remind myself that my wetsuit isn’t strangling me. (I’m really sensitive about things touching my neck.)

    I did the Splash and Dash at Tempe Town Lake a few months ago. It had four race options:

    • Swim 1,000 meters, Run 5K
    • Swim only, 2,000 meters
    • Swim 2,000 meters, Run 5K
    • Swim only, 4,000 meters

    I suspect the real purpose of this event is to give the people doing Ironman Arizona a few weeks later a chance to swim the length in the race (4,000 meters) in the lake where there’ll be swimming on race day. I signed up for the 2,000-meter, swim only.

    Tempe Town Lake – Image by Dru Bloomfield – At Home in Scottsdale from Flickr (Creative Commons License) – No, I did not get poisoned or super powers from swimming in this water.

    I arrived at the lake at 6:50 a.m., checked in, and strapped my timing chip to ankle. The air temperature was 58 degrees. The water was 63. The 2,000-meter swim started at 7:32 a.m. They invited us to jump in a little before race time to “splash about” and get used to water temperature. Yeah, no thanks. I was only getting in that water once.

    The race route was a 1,000-meter rectangle. Each person did one, two, or four laps depending on which event they signed up for. Like Maine, there were kayakers and paddle boarders throughout the route to help any swimmer who got in trouble. Shortly after I started swimming – 2:19 according to my Garmin – I grabbed onto a kayak, trying not to panic. (There’s something about feeling my wetsuit against my neck coupled with being hit by other swimmers that triggers my “fuck this” response.)

    I told the friendly volunteer in the kayak, that I was panicking and he asked an insightful question, “Has this happened before?” That actually helped me calm down a bit. I took a minute to take some deep breaths and compose myself, and then continued with the race.

    Once, I calmed down, running into other swimmers wasn’t as big of a deal. After one collision I remember saying, “Oops, that’s your butt.” The rest of the race felt pretty good. I worked on my spotting (trying to swim in a straight line by aiming at landmarks). A good rule is to check your spot every 2 strokes. I was doing it every 10, because I don’t like how spotting breaks up my cadence.

    I finished the 2,000-meter swim in 45:03, 17 minutes faster than my time at Maine 70.3. The cut-off time for the swim for the full Ironman is 2 hours, 20 minutes (140 minutes). That’s encouraging to see that I’m on track to have a good swim at Ironman Mont Tremblant this summer.

    I still need to work on not panicking when I first hit the water. I hope to do a few more open water group swims before the race.

  • A Year Without Hair

    I made the decision in 2018 to keep my head shaved for a year. My first shave was by a professional stylist, but then I bought a set a clippers and re-shaved it ever 7-10 days. It was great in the warmer months. Not having hair kept me much cooler. Starting in the summer of 2019, in addition to cutting my hair with clippers, I began using a razor blade to cut my hair as close as possible, making my head feel as smooth as a honeydew melon.

    Having no hair was super convenient. Every morning, all I had to do was flop out of bed, and I was ready to go. I never had to deal with bed head, and I didn’t have to pay for conditioner, styling products, or haircuts for a year. (I washed my head stubble with a shampoo bar a few times a week.)

    I’ll admit, having no hair made me feel like a badass at time, like the embodiment of a superhero. I don’t think it made me more aerodynamic though.

    Painted Gold from Head to Toe

    One of the best experiences I had while bald was being painted by Skin City in Las Vegas. Since I didn’t have hair, the artist was able to paint me, literally, from the top of my head to the top of my feet (except for a pair of pasties and gold undies. I felt like a living statue.

    After the event, I put my jeans and went back to my hotel. My friends liked watching people react to me watching around with my gold head and torso, so I humored them by walking through the casino floor. That’s where we learned the fun way that you can’t walk through a casino with a painted face (which is ironic given how much makeup some people wear). Security stopped us as I was finishing my lap around the room.

    Assumptions People Made About Me

    There were a few occasions when people asked if I had cancer. One man came up to me in the parking lot of Sprouts and tried to tell me about how carrot juice kills cancer. Every time, I responded honestly that I was just taking a break from having hair.

    As far as I know, no one assumed that I was a Neo Nazi, or anything, though a friend said I looked a bit scary in a tank top with my no-hair.

    Did I Ever Sunburn my Head?

    I am grateful to whoever invented spray on sunblock. I rarely left the house without spraying my head if it was after sunrise. I managed to go the whole year without burning my scalp. When I went outside for longer workouts, I wore a bandana under my helmet when I was biking and a hat when I was running to protect my head from the sun.

    Lessons Learned

    Here are some of the things I learned from my year with no hair:

    • It’s challenging to cut your own hair around and behind your ears.
    • Yes, you can cut yourself with clippers. I nicked the top of my earlobe on numerous occasions.
    • It’s really easy to cut yourself if you use a disposable razor to shave your head.
    • It’s difficult to find a ballgown that goes with no-hair. The fanciness of the dress didn’t have anything to balance it out up top. I tried to find a sparkly headband, but it didn’t look right.
    • It was easier to present myself androgynously without hair. More people addressed me as “sir,” when I was in baggy guy clothes.

    Now What?

    Now I’m letting my hair grow out, going back to my previous undercut. I’ve started to miss it. Hopefully, I’ll have enough hair to have the style I want by this summer.

  • Undeniable Recap of 2019

    As I read through the notes in my memory jar for 2019, I noted that a lot of my happy memories this year involved hugs and dogs. It so cute when dogs get so excited, they piddle. Depression and anxiety were regular companions this year, and it shows by how empty my calendar was except for work travel and race training.

    Nevertheless, there are still things to celebrate from 2019:

    Top 5 Events

    1. Half Ironman Maine.

    The bulk of my year was focused on training for and competing in Maine 70.3, my first Half Ironman. It was a fun, but somewhat brutal race. The swim in the freezing cold and choppy water was exhausting, and it was only the first mile of the race! I love the bike ride through the back roads of Maine. I had some choice words for Coach David when I realized that a portion of the run was on a dirt trail. It felt so good to raise my arms as I crossed the finish line, but the best part of the day was hugging Coach David after we both had finished.

    Proud Coach

    2. Meeting the Nibling.

    I wanted to meet my nibling before she got too big, so I made a special trip across the country to spend the weekend with her. When I first walked in the door, my sister was feeding the baby. She took one look at me and started to cry. (Apparently, she’d reached the stage where she can distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar faces.) By the next morning, we were friends. I love this little creature – watching her piercing blue eyes take in the world and seeing her independent spirit whether she’s playing with her toys or crawling across the floor. I hope I’ll hear her say, “Oggy” soon.

    I was awake. Baby K was working on it.

    3. Snuggling with Adorabull.

    Aimee’s Farm Animal Sanctuary took in a sick calf this summer. He was found in a ditch, umbilical cord still attached, and covered in mud. A good Samaritan brought him to the sanctuary. Aimee named him Adorabull. She also put out the call on Facebook asking for extra help at the farm since the sick baby needed so much attention. I spent a Saturday morning at the farm helping to tube feed him, give him his meds, and snuggle with him. I nicknamed him “Addy.”  It was such a joy to see him stand up and eat some starter feed. You could see he had a fight in him, even when he was weak. He survived and is doing great at the sanctuary now.

    Sweet Adorabull, aka “Addy”

    4. Plastic-Free July.

    One of the ways humans are destroying the planet is with single-use plastics. We use these plastic items for a matter of minutes, and then it won’t decompose of thousands of years. It makes no sense to use our fossil fuels like this. It makes me sad and angry to see how it’s wreaking havoc on marine life. I challenged myself to do avoid single use plastics for Plastic-Free July, and to find alternative products that no plastic packaging. It forced me to re-think the way I shop for food and hygiene products. Even after this month ended, I still try to avoid single-use plastics at least 90% of the time.

    5. What We Left Behind – DS9 Documentary.

    I love Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. It’s my favorite Star Trek series to date. It’s a Trek that focused more on relationships compared to the other series, and it how the writers created their story arcs was changed the way others wrote episodic series. I loved sitting in the theater, surrounded by my fellow Trekkies, and hearing all the behind the scenes stories about this series.

    Firsts in 2019

    I’ve had a lot of firsts related that came leading up to my first Half Ironman race. I got my first triathlon bike, that came with my first tri-bike fitting. That was followed with my first time riding a bike with my feet clipped to my pedals (and my first fall from my tri-bike). In physical therapy, I also had dry needling with electro-stimulation for my hips and back.

    I had my first dermatologist appointment this year for a strip-down-check-every-mole skin exam this year.

    When my friends got engaged, I thought they were going to ask me to watch their dog during the ceremony. Instead, they asked me to be the presider.

    I committed to keeping my head shaved for a year. Starting I the summer, I began taking a razor blade to my head in addition to my clippers.

    When my flight was delayed from 11pm to 7am, I spent my first night in an airport.

    I was glad I was working from home the morning a neighbor asked me to give his car a jump when battery was dead.

    After Shankminds in Las Vegas, I was asked to leave a casino for walking through it with a painted face (and body).

    I was painted down to my feet, but I put on jeans to go back to my hotel.

    I called the Cleveland Police Department to get more information about Ohio’s decency law. They put me on hold and took a poll around the office to decide how topless I could legally be in public.

    With my non-binary birth certificate in hand, I attempted to get a non-binary passport and update my social security record. Both times, a clerk on the phone told me I could change my records, and both times, it turned out not to be true.

    Rosie the basset hound is still alive and kicking, thanks in part to cold laser treatment and CBD.

    Flat basset!

    Foods: Homemade almond milk, Homemade oat milk, Daiya vegan pizza (not food), Homemade crackers (meh), Homemade vegan butter, Mushroom calamari

    Places: Canada, Maine, AZ Zipline Adventures, Welcome to Las Vegas sign

    Events: Stomp!, Conex, Shabbat

    Celebrity Sightings

    • Henry Rollins
    • Mindy Kaling

    In Memoriam

    • Sylus Kolsrud
    • Carol Channing
    • Bernice Sandler
    • Tim Frank
    • Mars Rover Opportunity
    • Luke Perry
    • Grumpy Cat
    • Frida Carter-Ortmeyer
    • Zavi Solis
    • Buddy Williams
    • Cokie Roberts
    • Aron Eisenberg
    • Ad Wedzik
    • Johnny Cash Moriarty
    • Caroll Spinney
    • Rene Auberjonois