The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Prepping for Plastic-Free July – Part 2

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    Ruth Carter

    It’s less than a month away from Plastic-Free July – a month where I will try to avoid single-use plastics in my life. Some people suggested that I stock up on products that contain plastic so I won’t have to buy them during July, but that goes against the purpose of doing this challenge. In fact, I’m doing the opposite this month: Whenever I run out of something that comes in plastic, I will try to replace it with a plastic-free product.

    Image by Nathan.Kauffman

    Looking around the house, I can see some products for which I’ll have to find a plastic-free alternative:

    Frozen Foods: I regularly buy frozen spinach and berries for smoothies, and other frozen vegetables for meal prepping. I’ll have to switch to fresh veggies and fruit when I run out of them. I’ll probably switch to spinach and/or kale for my smoothies. I don’t know if berries will be in season at the farmer’s market. I’m sure I can’t get plastic-free ones at the store. I may have to switch to other fruits like mangos. I’ve never seen non-frozen peas in the store, so I’ll likely switch to broccoli and green beans for my green veggies.

    Bread: The Whole Foods near my office has non-packaged bread in its bakery section. Einstein’s will likely be my go-to place for bagels. I’ll also look for plastic-free bread when I hit the farmer’s markets. I’ve considered baking my own bread, but it’s hot in Arizona in the summer. The last thing I want to do is add excess heat to the inside of my home.

    Paper Towels: My last roll of paper towels is on the dispenser in the kitchen. When I use the last one, I’m switching over to multipurpose washable cloth towels instead. I bought a pack of 12. We’ll see if I need more than that to last me until I do laundry on the weekend.

    Face Soap: I use an exfoliating face soap that comes in a squeezy plastic tube. I’ll use regular soap on my face (that comes in paper or no packaging), and I wonder if I’ll notice a difference. I’ve seen recipes for scrubs I can use if I need it.

    Moisturizer: I’ve used the same moisturizer for over two decades. I love it. It’s a great product. I don’t know what I’m going to do if I run out. I plan to call the parent company to ask if they have any products that come in glass. The recipes I’ve seen for lotion, so far, all have to be refrigerated, which isn’t convenient when I travel. We’ll see what happens.

    Lip Balm: I’m addicted to lip balm. I usually have in my bag and/or pocket, in my desk at work, and 2-3 on various counters and tables throughout my home. They’re all plastic tubes. I have until my current stash runs out to find a lip balms that come in a metal tin or a paper tube. I just have to find a quality one that works for me.  

    Trash Can Liners: I don’t compost (yet) so sometimes my kitchen trash can be wet from coffee grounds and bits from fruits and veggies. Usually, I line my trash bin with a plastic shopping bag. (At least, I’m reusing them.) As alternatives, I could try using paper shopping bags as a liner or lining the can with newspaper. If neither of those work, I may have to forego a liner and wash the bin after I take out the trash each time.  

    Unfortunately, there are few necessary non-negotiable items in my life that only that come in plastic:

    • Prescription Medications: We are all better people because I take meds. I am looking into a charity that repurposes the plastic bottles from medications and vitamins.
    • Sunscreen: I’m not going to get skin cancer while saving the planet. I use a “reef-conscious formula” that comes in a metal spray can, but it has plastic in the dispenser and lid.
    • Contact Lenses and Solution: Besides laser eye surgery, I don’t think there’s a plastic-free alternative to lenses and solution. I’m sure there are recipes for making your own contact solution, but given that these products literally go in my eyes, I’m sticking with ophthalmologist-approved and prescribed products.

    I’ve been working towards Plastic-Free July for almost a year now. You can read about earlier preparations in Preparing for Plastic-Free July – Part 1* and the zero-waste and low-waste substitutes* I’ve already made in my life. (* Note: Both of these posts contain affiliate links.)

    Is anyone else trying Plastic-Free July?

  • No Gender Neutral Option for “Sir” or “Ma’am”

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    Ruth Carter

    The other day, I was at Office Max, picking up ink for my printer. The clerk and I had a good conversation, joked a bit, while they rang me up. When the transaction was complete, I turned to leave and the clerk said, “Have a good day, ma’am.”

    <cringe>

    I hate that moment of being mis-gendered. Do I turn around and correct them? Or do I keep walking and let them think I’m a woman?

    Yes, I’m fully aware that I have boobs when I don’t bind and a feminine face. But I also shaved my head, wear gender neutral clothes much of the time, carry a gender neutral bag, and I try to “walk like a guy.”

    The worst is dealing with customer service on the phone. If I’m calling customer service, there’s a good chance I’m already not having a good day. Being mis-gendered on top of everything else makes my skin crawl.

    Image by Scotty Myers Photography

    I don’t blame these people for mis-gendering me. All they have to go on, at first, is my voice (that never dropped, though I do like to refer to myself as a “castrata”). (Ok, I’ve never had testicles, and I do sing soprano, so it’s close enough.) One of the first things they ask for is my name, and “Ruth” is unmistakably feminine. I suspect these customer service reps are people who work in cubicles, use a script, and are expected to say “sir” or “ma’am” as a sign of respect.

    And that’s part of my frustration: We don’t have a gender neutral term to use in place of “sir” or “ma’am.”

    I would love it if did. I’d love it if the default was to use a gender neutral term instead of “sir” or “ma’am.” Pick one word for everyone. We have “friend,” but that’s too casual, and terms like “sweetie” or “buddy” are even worse. We don’t have a gender neutral term that is professional equivalent of “sir” or “ma’am.”

    What might that word be?

    A few months ago, I contemplated this question during a morning swim (before I knew that I was supposed to focus on my form the whole time). The words “sir” or “ma’am” essentially mean, “you.” We don’t usually say “Have a good day, you,” but that’s what we’re saying when we say, “Have a good day, sir/ma’am.”

    So, what’s the gender neutral, non-weird term for “you?” “Human?” “Person?”

    “Ma’am” is short for “madam,” so started to think that maybe there’s a gender neutral word we can shorten.

    What about shortening “person” to “pe’n” (pronounced “pen”)?

    I like “pe’n.”

    I’d be ok with people referring to me as “pe’n.” I’d be ok with that being our new gender neutral replacement for “sir” and “ma’am.” I suspect many cisgender people would be upset about changing the term, perhaps find it offensive, to not acknowledge their specific gender. I’d want to challenge those people to think about why that is. What’s wrong with people referring to you as a person instead of a man or a woman?

    That’s a question for another day: What if we eliminated excessive masculine and feminine terms and use gender neutral ones instead?

    Now, some of you might remember that I prefer “sir” over “ma’am” when those are the only two options. As a Trekkie, I grew up thinking that all superiors in the military were referred to as “sir” because that’s what they did on Star Trek. Personally, I’d be ok with everyone being a “sir” but I also don’t want to perpetuate the idea that the default term should be the masculine.

    So back to the Office Max clerk. How did I respond when they mis-gendered me? I just kept walking. I bet the clerk felt good about that interaction. They did their job and made a customer laugh. I let them feel good about that.

  • Switched to a Menstrual Cup

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    Ruth Carter

    If talk about menstruation (periods) or blood makes you squeamish, you might not want to read this post.

    Seven months and eight periods ago, I traded in my tampons for a menstrual cup. I’m so glad I made the switch. Note: This post contains affiliate links, each marked with an asterisk (*).

    I had two motivations for doing this:

    1. Cost: My Lunette menstrual cup (Model 2)* cost $28.99 on Amazon. It will easily pay for itself in less than a year, and may have already.
    2. Environment: There’s no trash when you use a menstrual cup, just empty, clean, and re-use. Tampons, pads, applicators, and wrappers, on the other hand, pile up in landfills.

    Day 1: It Got Stuck

    It didn’t get stuck-stuck, but it took a bit to figure out how to slide the cup out of my body. Getting the cup in to my body was easy – squeeze one side in so the circle at the top looks like a “C,” and slide it in. It re-expands back to its circular shape and the little holes near the top create a suction against your skin. You have to break this seal to get it back out, which is challenging when you have tiny hands and short fingers like me. The first time I tried to get it out after wearing it a few hours (you can wear it up to 12 hours) was a complete fail. I got it out that evening, but it took 20 minutes to figure it out.

    Leaks Happen – But Not Often

    Before switching to a menstrual cup, I dealt with leaks all the time. I have designated underwear for this week. Doesn’t everyone?

    I have way fewer leaks with the menstrual cup. I’ve had two leaks because I didn’t quite get the cup into place, and I think I overflowed it once. I just wear black underwear and that seems to be enough. I don’t need to wear a pantyliner or anything for backup.


    My Own Horror Movie

    Tampons and pads work by absorbing your blood. You can’t tell how much fluid they’re actually holding. Cups are the opposite. It’s just a silicon cup that catches your blood. When you empty your cup when you’re in the shower or sitting on the toilet, it looks like a horror movie. You know exactly how much you’re bleeding.

    Thank goodness men don’t get periods. If teenage boys used menstrual cups, they’d be throwing blood at each other in high school bathrooms.

    What about Public Bathrooms?

    When you empty your cup, you’re supposed to at least rinse it before putting it back in. I’m lucky where I work only has single-user bathrooms so I can easily rinse my cup in the sink.

    With multi-user bathrooms, that’s not the case. Thankfully, I’ve only had to deal with this once. I emptied my cup, wiped it out with toilet paper (and dripped blood on my shoe), put it back in, and wiped the blood off my fingers before exiting the stall. It wasn’t a big deal.   

    No Rogue Strings (Yay!)

    Tampon users know this one: sometimes your string “goes rogue” and pulls in the opposite direction from where it should be. And it hurts. And there’s no discreet way to fix it. You have to reach into your underwear and put it back in place.

    When this happened to me, it was usually when I was out running, far away from a bathroom. It happened so frequently, I switched from tampons to “period panties” when I was running. With the cup, there’s no string to worry about.

    Equally convenient, I don’t have to worry about having a visible string when I go swimming – which is currently twice a week. (Yes, there’s a true story from my gymnastics days when I was competing in a black leotard with a visible white string!) When I’m at the pool, I always worry that I didn’t put my cup in properly and it will leak. I have a fear of finishing a lap and being confronted by a lifeguard who tells me I’m bleeding in the pool. So far, that has not been an issue at all.

    Helps with Dysphoria

    Using a menstrual cup* helps with the dysphoria I have about being non-binary and trapped in a female body. When I was using tampons, I had to change it five times a day or more on my heaviest day. That meant I had to have tampons with me, carry them through the office on my way to the bathroom, dealing with the string, and being confronted with my period each time I changed my tampon. Cups are designed to be worn for up to 12 hours, so I only have to deal with it twice a day, three times on my heaviest day. Otherwise, I can “set it and forget it.”

    Well, except for the cramps part.