The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Thank Goodness I was Sober in Law School

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    Ruth Carter

    My friend Brian Cuban recently wrote a post about his experience of being in law school while being deep in his alcohol addiction and eating disorder. It’s hard to fathom what that must have been like – going to class after waking up with a hangover, getting smashed when he was supposed to be studying, and puking his guts out as he staggered home. Law school is hard enough without struggling with addiction. I’m so grateful I got sober before I went to law school.

    I carry two chips in my wallet - my most recent birthday chip and my 24 hour "desire" chip. They remind me how far I've come but also that I have to take it one day at time.
    I carry two chips in my wallet – my most recent birthday chip and my 24 hour “desire” chip. They remind me how far I’ve come but also that I have to take it one day at time.

    Actually, it’s because I got sober that I was able to go to law school. I never would have had the courage to apply when I was deep in my addiction. Before I got sober, my self-esteem was fragile at best and I was too afraid of failure to try anything that put my desire to maintain the illusion of perfection at risk.

    I had plenty of classmates who drank to blow off steam (and who sometimes drank over lunch and came back for afternoon class tipsy or drunk) and/or used prescription stimulants to help them study. I remember one of my classmates brought of bottle of booze and little plastic shot glasses so he and his friends could drink right after they got out of our Con Law final. (That was a bitch of a final. I understand why he did that. That was the only class where I had doubts about passing.) Being sober, I didn’t have the luxury of numbing my feelings with alcohol and drugs or using anything stronger than coffee to study.

    Don’t think for a second that I am/was as pure as driven snow. For full disclosure, I struggled with my eating disorder throughout law school. At the height of my disorder, I binged and purged about once a week, but this was mostly an infrequent occurrence during my law school years.

    Throughout my law school career, I was fortunate to have strong connections within the recovery community. I was lucky to have a classmate who was also in recovery from addiction. We would talk during our study breaks to vent about the stress of law school and life in general, and be there to support each other. We experienced the discomfort of law school without the option to mollify our stress with recreational substances. It was pretty brutal at times, but it was comforting to know I wasn’t going through it alone.

    As a member of a 12-step program, I have a sponsor, and it was fortuitous that he was getting his degree (different field) from Arizona State University while I was in law school. Both being students in difficult programs, he understood my level of stress because he faced it himself, although he seemed to handle it much more gracefully. There were many times I met with him between classes, to touch base about how I was feeling and to make sure I was perceiving and responding to situations appropriately. Just having him nearby was reassuring.

    One of the things I’ve learned in recovery is how important it is to stay connected to others. I’m grateful I had strong connections to others in recovery on my campus. They kept me grounded and gave me a place to vent when I needed it.

    I also want to give a massive hat tip to my undergrad alma mater Oregon State University. They established a collegiate recovery community with sober housing for students in recovery from addiction. I didn’t even know I had a problem when I was an undergrad, but I’m glad this is available for people who need/want it.

  • Day 78/90 – Corrupting ASU 1Ls

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    Ruth Carter

    Day 78 of the 90 Days of Awesome is in the bank! What made today awesome? I got to meet some of the new law students at ASU at their orientation reception.

    I can't wait until the new law school building is finished (Photo courtesy of ASU Law School)
    I can’t wait until the new law school building is finished (Photo courtesy of ASU Law School)

    ASU Law School has a reception during 1L orientation where they invite their alums to meet the new students. It’s in the evening so the 1Ls are exhausted from a long day of information overload and culture shock. It’s fun to share tips for surviving law school and give them a glimpse of what life after law school is like.

    My goal for attending these types of event is to show law students that there’s more than one way to be a lawyer. I purposely attended in jeans and a tank top to show them that not all lawyers wear a suit every day. Along with talking about my legal career as an Of Counsel attorney, blogger, speaker, and author, I tried to share some lessons that got my though law school:

    • If you’re smart enough to get into law school, you’re smart enough to get through it.
    • Sometimes you’ll lose your mind a bit due to stress and fatigue, but it’s temporary. You will bounce back and be happy again.
    • The difference between the top and the bottom of the class is small. Unless your dream job requires you to be at the top of your class, you don’t have to check your grades. I didn’t.
    • Become friends with the IT guys. They will save your ass when your computer breaks.
    • The staff and faculty at ASU Law are as supportive as they claim to be. If you need or want something, ask.
    • Treat law school like a trade school. Learn your craft and network your face off you so will be well connected to the community by the time you graduate. If you have an opportunity that requires skipping a class, definitely skip class.

    I told a group of 1Ls the story about the day I realized Dean Sylvester was super cool when he encouraged me to send a demand letter to the then-ASU Law Dean when he was late to class.

    I also met a 1L who I exchanged emails with a few years ago. She’d asked me if law school was worth it and I told her to ask herself whether a law degree was necessary to achieve her goals. If so, go to law school. And now she’s at ASU. That was really cool.

    I gave my business card to just about every law student I met and I told them to call or email if they need anything. We’ll now many of them take me up on it.

    For anyone who discovers this post after meeting me tonight, here a bonus for you: Seven Layers of Academic Hell.

    In case you missed it: Day 77 of the 90 Days of Awesome – I treated myself to a Suzie Housewife Day!

  • How to Get a Job at a Small Law Firm

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    Ruth Carter

    I had the pleasure of participating in my law school alma mater’s Small Firm Week. One of the activities was an event featuring eight small firm lawyers who each had had table and a small group of students got to have lunch with them. It was a great way for students to meet local lawyers and learn about what it’s like to work at a small firm. For those of you who don’t know, I gave up my solo practice to become one of nine lawyers at Venjuris. I only use Carter Law Firm for professional speaking and writing.

    One of the students at my table is interested in bankruptcy law and he asked me what he should do to try to get a job at a small firm. Here’s what I told him to do. This is also what I wish I did more of when I was a law student:

    Social Media Camp 2009- Social Media for the Job Search by Dean Meyers from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
    Social Media Camp 2009- Social Media for the Job Search by Dean Meyers from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

    1. My law school’s career services office maintains a list of all the law firms in Maricopa County (where Phoenix is located) that includes each firm’s practice areas and how many lawyers work in the local office. I told him to get a copy of this list.

    2. Go through the list and find all the bankruptcy firms. Then do some research on the lawyers who work at each one and try to identify which ones might be people that you would want to have as your professional friends. I actually told him to look for lawyers that he would want to hang out and drink with. Networking is all about building your professional social circles.

    3. Reach out to the lawyers you want to meet and asked them to lunch or coffee, or even just a 20-minute meeting in their office. (Lawyers are busy.) Ask them what it’s really liked to work in their practice area and if they have any tips for getting a job.

    Notice I didn’t say ask them for a job. They will probably ask you if you have a summer job lined up or if you have secured a job for after you graduate. It’s a given that most law students are looking for a job. Unless a firm is advertising a job opening, asking for a job the first time you meet somebody is like trying to sleep with a person on the first date. It’s too forward and aggressive. I’ve heard some lawyers don’t go to the networking events with law students because they don’t like being hit up for jobs.

    4. Instead, you want to foster relationships with the people you hope will be your friends when you graduate and pass the bar so they will think of you when they hear of a job opportunity. There are many firms that never advertise when they’re looking to add an associate. They just ask their network if anybody knows anyone who might be a good fit.

    At the end of lunch I asked the students at my table for their cards, and I was surprised that none of them had business cards. Every law student needs a business card. You may be able to get them through your law school or there are plenty of places you can get them online. It just needs to have your name, your email address, your phone number, your school, and when you’re graduating.

    I have a terrible memory when it comes to remembering names, but I use a contact database where I keep track of everyone I meet and where I meet them. Had the students given me their cards, I would have added them and they could have been on the list of people I would look up and recommend if I heard of a job opening or internship. But they didn’t give me their cards, so they’re not in my database, so unless they send me an email I will probably never have contact with them again.