The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Why Are Lawyers So Bitchy?

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    Ruth Carter

    Law books on a Shelf by umjanedoan

    I caught myself feeling really bitchy last week. It was a busy morning and I was headed to a breakfast meeting. I pushed the button to open the garage door. The motor whirled for a second and then stopped after opening the door only a few inches. A closer look revealed a broken spring. I went back into the house, postponed my meeting, and called a repair service. When the guy came out he started asking questions about the sound the door made and the condition of the track. I impatiently answered his questions while thinking “Just fix it!” I don’t care what sound the door makes; I just want it to go up and down when I push the button.

    I’m my own boss, so if I’m not happy, it’s my own fault. My internal monologue inspired me to ponder what makes lawyers so bitchy. I immediately thought of one of my law school internships at a big law firm. My office neighbor was a brilliant but demanding woman. I was glad someone warned me that it was common for her to cut people off mid-sentence. When she heard the information she needed, she didn’t want you to speak anymore. Once I understood this, her behavior never offended me. It was just how she operated. She would tell me what argument she was trying to make and would send me off to find case law that supported it. When I gave her the information she needed, she wanted me out of her office. I had fixed her problem so she didn’t need me anymore. The benefit of doing projects for her was I never had to write a memo; she just wanted a copy of the case with the pertinent section highlighted.

    Apparently sometimes she would call the office to complain about poor service in her cell phone. There was nothing her secretary could do to fix the situation, but she would go through the motions to humor her.

    My reflections have led me to the acceptance that a lot of lawyers are controlling over-achievers. We were the people in high school you loved during group projects. We didn’t trust you to pull your weight and we knew we could it better, so we did all the work. We don’t like unexpected changes; our lives are too busy. We’re over-scheduled and work on tight deadlines. We don’t go with the flow. On the upside, we don’t intend to be mean or jerks, and usually we’re not. We just know what we want and we ask for it without any fluffy fanfare.

    In general, we prefer to do things ourselves. We hate having to rely on others. When I have to hire someone to do something I can’t do, I’m grateful for their service, but I want them in and out of my house as fast as possible. I don’t like disruptions to my productive groove and quiet solitude.

    Are lawyers going to stop being bitchy? No, not even solo practitioners like me. It’s a masochistic affliction I accept and try not to inflict it upon anyone else. And don’t think that only women can be bitchy lawyers because I’m female and the example I used is also a woman. Male lawyers can be just as bitchy.

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  • Get A Helmet

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    Ruth Carter

    I was a gymnast from age 4 to 23. I was a competitive gymnast for 8 of those years. Gymnastics was more than a sport for me – it was a lifestyle. Not doing it was never an option. When I struggled with injuries, I just had to find a way to work through or around the pain.

    Rocky & His Girls, 1993

    I had an amazing coach during my competitive career named Rocky Kees. He brought out the best in me and all my teammates. That man was gymnastics magic. I absolutely loved training with him.  It was one of the best times of my life. And Rocky taught me more than gymnastics. He taught me life skills that I carry with me to this day.

    One of Rocky’s mantras was, “Get a helmet.” It was his way of saying, “Suck it up” but it had an added element of respect for how hard our work was. He respected that gymnastics was hard or scary, but he wouldn’t tell us to do anything that we couldn’t do. We all heard, “Get a helmet” on a regular basis. To this day, I can post “It’s a Get A Helmet kind of day” on Facebook and I’ll get lots of acknowledgements from my former teammates.

    Post-It Above My Desk

    “Get a Helmet” has become my mantra for building my law firm. I have it written on a little post-it note above my desk. Every day comes with its own set of challenges, whether it’s managing my calendar, balancing the books, doing client work, writing my book, or marketing the hell out of myself and my firm. There are a lot of things I’d rather not do, but that’s not really an option when you run a one-person shop.  Sometimes I get tired, frustrated, and unmotivated. That’s when I look up at that post-it note, take a deep breath, and soldier on.

    Remembering to “Get a Helmet” keeps my eye on the prize. I’m not asking myself to do anything impossible. It’s just hard and scary. I can handle that.

  • Walter Ball!!!

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    Ruth Carter

    Two Christmases ago I asked Santa Claus for a Koosh ball.  I’m not good at holding still in general and I have tendency to pace and fuss when I’m thinking. I wanted a big softball size Koosh ball that I could toss between my hands while I paced around the house.

    Walter Ball!!

    Unfortunately, they don’t make the larger Koosh balls anymore. It’s a vintage toy, and my Santa wasn’t about to scour eBay with the hopes of finding me one.  Instead she found me a large blue ball with rubber hair in the toy section of the local drug store.  (The smaller tennis ball size Koosh ball is still available for purchase.)

    Originally, the ball wasn’t going to have a name, but I while I was still home for Christmas that year, Mom referred to it as “Walter.” She meant to call it “Wilson” after the movie Cast Away. From then on, I couldn’t help but call it my “Walter ball.”

    I guess Walter has become a signature fixture on my desk, kind of like my version of Dr. House’s oversized tennis ball or Captain Sisko’s baseball.  I toss it between my hands and squeeze it when I think. It is the only toy that is allowed to be on my desk. If you watch my interview on copyright infringement on Pinterest on AZ Family, you can catch a glimpse of Walter at 1:39.

    Walter has been on a few adventures with me, though his size makes traveling with my unfeasible most of time. I have a world-traveling red plastic slinky that travels with me and loved one when we visit new places. Walter made the journey from my parents’ house in California to Phoenix. He also went with me to Lift Off earlier this year. I remember sitting on Pam Slim’s therapy ball and tossing Walter between my hands while I listened to her and Charlie Gilkey impart their wisdom on the best way to build my business. At one point in the weekend, we all got to draw our ideal offices. My drawing included a spot for Walter on my desk. All my other geek toys were relegated to the shelf behind me.