The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Coming Out Day 2012

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    Ruth Carter

    October 11th is National Coming Out Day. (In case you didn’t know, I’m bisexual.) I wish holiday didn’t have to exist. I wish sexual orientation was a non-issue and that people could be attracted to any gender without anyone raising an eyebrow.

    Rainbow Flag
    Rainbow Flag (Photo credit: Rev Dan Catt)

    Unfortunately, we’re not there yet. Children across this country and the world are being told that they’re going to hell if they’re gay. (I generally try to stay out of people’s religious beliefs when it comes to who/what they worship, but I take issue when a minority is being told they’re going to hell for something they can’t control.) These kids are being teased so badly in school it’s driving some of them to drop out or commit suicide. Depending on which study you read, 20-40% of homeless youth are LGBT.

    This problem continues into adult society where many people can still be fired because of their sexual orientation. And in most states, a committed homosexual couple is treated differently under the law than a committed heterosexual couple. The question that comes up for me is “Why do you care?” If you’re a hetero, two homos getting married does not pose a threat to you or your relationship. Why should you get over a thousand benefits under the law when you get married but they can’t? It broke my heart when I learned that at least one person in my family voted in favor of Prop 8 in California in 2008, and my family knows that I’m queer.

    I also don’t understand people who say that gay unions should be legal but the word “marriage” should be reserved only for hetero couples. Seriously? The Supreme Court ruled that separate isn’t equal a long time ago. I don’t care if you call it “marriage,” “civil union,” or “oogie boogie,” whatever term you want to use for governmentally recognized homo unions should be the same as hetero unions. If individuals and religious organizations want to use a different word, that’s their prerogative.

    We’ve made a lot of progress in terms of gay rights in the last few decades. I try to remember how far we’ve come when I feel like a lonely gay in a hetero world. It gives me hope that it will get better and some day we’ll be equals.

    This is the song that reminds me that even when I feel like a freak, I’m not a freak alone.

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  • I Want Gay Couples on the Kiss Cam

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    Ruth Carter

    I was at the Arizona Diamondbacks/San Francisco Giants game on Sunday, September 16th. Some time during every game they do the “Kiss Cam” where they put couples on the jumbotron and try to get them to kiss. This is also when we see marriage proposals during the game. It’s cheesy but it’s sweet.

    Jamie and Lisa

    I don’t go to many Major League Baseball games, but out of all the games I’ve gone to, I’ve never seen them put a same-sex couple on the Kiss Cam. I put the question out to my Facebook friends and none of them had ever seen a same-sex couple on the Kiss Cam either. It makes me wonder if the Diamondbacks are homophobic, or if they are afraid to acknowledge supports for gay couples.

    One of my friends suggested that perhaps the Diamondbacks as an organization are not homophobic but they are concerned about the backlash that might occur if they show a same-sex couple kissing in the stadium. She brings up a good question: how many people would stop attending Diamondbacks games if a gay couple kissed on the jumbotron? Would there big protests like they had Chick-Fil-A?

    Sam and Clinton

    I’m of the belief that if you’re not attracted to people of the same gender, don’t date them. It doesn’t make homosexuality wrong. It’s like any other sexual attraction and everyone has their deal-breaker quaities. Just as some people won’t date someone if they are a smoker or have kids, other people require certain genitalia on their partners. I’m bisexual so the junk in your pants isn’t going to be the deal-breaker for me and that may help me view sexual orientation differently than others. To me, it’s ok if you’re not attracted to someone, but it’s not ok to say that another person is sick or wrong if they are attracted to them.

    Tyler and Krys – They’re Straight

    Another friend brought up the question of how would the camera operator know if two people are a couple or just friends. That’s a challenge that the camera operators already deal with. I’ve seen them put people on the Kiss Cam who are siblings or otherwise not in a romantic relationship. Innocent mistakes happen. If they see two people kissing during the game, that’s a good indicator they’re a couple.

    The Arizona Diamondbacks, and all professional sports teams who have a Kiss Cam during their games, have an obligation to treat all their patrons equally, which means putting heterosexuals and homosexual couples on the jumbotron.  They have an opportunity as leaders in their communities to demonstrate their acceptance of homosexuality, that sexual orientation should be a non-issue, and that two people in love is not a threat to other relationships.

    If you have professional sport team that does a Kiss Cam during their games, tell them that you want same-sex couples on it. If they already do it, thank them.

    Special thanks to my friends Jamie, Lisa, Sam, and Clinton for letting me use your photos. Much love to all of you! Thanks Victor Moreno for letting me use your photo Tyler and Krys.

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  • Oppose the Salvation Army’s Discrimination

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    Ruth Carter

    I generally enjoy Christmas. I like the decorations, seeing family and friends, and I absolutely love the music.

    One thing I don’t like about Christmas is the incessant sound of Salvation Army bells.

    The Salvation Army is a Christian organization that provides a variety of services for the poor and homeless. They are also against same-sex marriage and have a history of refusing services to same-sex couples. You can check out Dan Savage’s blog to read about the gay couple who was told they had to break up before the Salvation Army would help them. In one town, the Salvation Army provided the only shelter for families. They told a homeless family headed by a lesbian couple that the children and one partner could stay at the shelter but that the other partner had to stay out in the cold.

    I generally allow people to have their beliefs, but I can’t wrap my brain around homophobia. Why should anyone care who someone else loves? Why do they find it so threatening?

    I cringe every time I hear a Salvation Army’s bell.  To me they proclaim, “Gays are wrong.  Give us money to perpetuate discrimination. This business promotes homophobia by welcoming us onto their property.” I feel angry deep into the core of my being every time I hear it.

    This year, I decide to do something about this problem. Whenever I see a Salvation Army bell ringer, I take their picture and post it on Twitter with a message about where homophobia is being promoted that day.  I also will not spend any money at any business that has a bell ringer in front of it.

    I started asking the bell ringers if they were aware that the Salvation Army opposed same-sex marriage. None of them knew. One of the ringers told me that she personally supported same-sex marriage, and I informed her that by being a bell ringer, she was perpetuating homophobia. I hope it made her think.

    I do not oppose charity or charitable giving; however, people have an obligation to know where their money is going and to align their pocketbooks with their beliefs. Please find charities that do not discriminate against same-sex marriage or the LGBT community and give your money to them.