As a minimalist, I’ve removed a lot of the physical clutter from my life. My new challenge is learning to not take on so many commitments and becoming more of a mental minimalistÂ . . . and being ok with it.
In the last few years as I’ve gotten my depression and anxiety under more control, it’s become apparent that I have some ADD tendencies. When you pair that with my perfectionism, it can be quite a challenge. I often find myself thinking that I can and should take on more because it will lead to positive attention and/or I could be badass at it.
Being ADD sucks â€“ easily distracted by â€œshiny objects.â€ It’s hard to stay focused on projects for more than 15 minutes, and too frequently I find myself saying â€œWho am I; where am I; what’s going on?â€ That’s when I know my brain is being pulled in too many directions. One of my friends who is much more ADD than I am has a prescription for PRN medication that helps him. I saw my psych nurse recently and I asked her if I was a candidate for this medication too, and she told me I wasn’t a candidate and that I need to stop doing so many things.
Fine. Don’t let me take the easier softer way.
It’s probably a good thing that she said, â€œNo.â€ When I asked my friend what it feels like to take ADD medication, his first response was, â€œHave you ever done blow?â€ I don’t think he was insinuating that his meds make him feel like he’s on uppers, but it that the rest of the world falls away and he can focus on the task at hand. Knowing me, it’s too likely that I’d take this medication daily and use it as a reason to do even more â€“ just because I could.
My life is managed with to-do lists â€“ color-coded annotated to-do lists. It’s what I need to do to manage my life. I don’t get things done without them.
Looking ahead to 2016, one of my goals is to be more ok with doing less. I am certain I will be working as hard as ever, but the scope of my work and my total commitments will hopefully to drop significantly. I plan to travel less, take on fewer speaking engagements, and probably not take on any more community activities then I’ve already committed to.
On the flip side, I hope this will give me more â€“ more energy, more sleep, more time with friends, more non-work adventurers, and more time just to think. I definitely don’t give myself enough time to mull over ideas with no expectation of a final product. The biggest challenges with this plan is to let myself be okay with doing less, knowing that I could take on more.
I think this is the next step in the don’t-have-a-heart-attack, be-more-balanced plan.