The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Undeniable Recap of 2019

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    Ruth Carter

    As I read through the notes in my memory jar for 2019, I noted that a lot of my happy memories this year involved hugs and dogs. It so cute when dogs get so excited, they piddle. Depression and anxiety were regular companions this year, and it shows by how empty my calendar was except for work travel and race training.

    Nevertheless, there are still things to celebrate from 2019:

    Top 5 Events

    1. Half Ironman Maine.

    The bulk of my year was focused on training for and competing in Maine 70.3, my first Half Ironman. It was a fun, but somewhat brutal race. The swim in the freezing cold and choppy water was exhausting, and it was only the first mile of the race! I love the bike ride through the back roads of Maine. I had some choice words for Coach David when I realized that a portion of the run was on a dirt trail. It felt so good to raise my arms as I crossed the finish line, but the best part of the day was hugging Coach David after we both had finished.

    Proud Coach

    2. Meeting the Nibling.

    I wanted to meet my nibling before she got too big, so I made a special trip across the country to spend the weekend with her. When I first walked in the door, my sister was feeding the baby. She took one look at me and started to cry. (Apparently, she’d reached the stage where she can distinguish between familiar and unfamiliar faces.) By the next morning, we were friends. I love this little creature – watching her piercing blue eyes take in the world and seeing her independent spirit whether she’s playing with her toys or crawling across the floor. I hope I’ll hear her say, “Oggy” soon.

    I was awake. Baby K was working on it.

    3. Snuggling with Adorabull.

    Aimee’s Farm Animal Sanctuary took in a sick calf this summer. He was found in a ditch, umbilical cord still attached, and covered in mud. A good Samaritan brought him to the sanctuary. Aimee named him Adorabull. She also put out the call on Facebook asking for extra help at the farm since the sick baby needed so much attention. I spent a Saturday morning at the farm helping to tube feed him, give him his meds, and snuggle with him. I nicknamed him “Addy.”  It was such a joy to see him stand up and eat some starter feed. You could see he had a fight in him, even when he was weak. He survived and is doing great at the sanctuary now.

    Sweet Adorabull, aka “Addy”

    4. Plastic-Free July.

    One of the ways humans are destroying the planet is with single-use plastics. We use these plastic items for a matter of minutes, and then it won’t decompose of thousands of years. It makes no sense to use our fossil fuels like this. It makes me sad and angry to see how it’s wreaking havoc on marine life. I challenged myself to do avoid single use plastics for Plastic-Free July, and to find alternative products that no plastic packaging. It forced me to re-think the way I shop for food and hygiene products. Even after this month ended, I still try to avoid single-use plastics at least 90% of the time.

    5. What We Left Behind – DS9 Documentary.

    I love Star Trek: Deep Space Nine. It’s my favorite Star Trek series to date. It’s a Trek that focused more on relationships compared to the other series, and it how the writers created their story arcs was changed the way others wrote episodic series. I loved sitting in the theater, surrounded by my fellow Trekkies, and hearing all the behind the scenes stories about this series.

    Firsts in 2019

    I’ve had a lot of firsts related that came leading up to my first Half Ironman race. I got my first triathlon bike, that came with my first tri-bike fitting. That was followed with my first time riding a bike with my feet clipped to my pedals (and my first fall from my tri-bike). In physical therapy, I also had dry needling with electro-stimulation for my hips and back.

    I had my first dermatologist appointment this year for a strip-down-check-every-mole skin exam this year.

    When my friends got engaged, I thought they were going to ask me to watch their dog during the ceremony. Instead, they asked me to be the presider.

    I committed to keeping my head shaved for a year. Starting I the summer, I began taking a razor blade to my head in addition to my clippers.

    When my flight was delayed from 11pm to 7am, I spent my first night in an airport.

    I was glad I was working from home the morning a neighbor asked me to give his car a jump when battery was dead.

    After Shankminds in Las Vegas, I was asked to leave a casino for walking through it with a painted face (and body).

    I was painted down to my feet, but I put on jeans to go back to my hotel.

    I called the Cleveland Police Department to get more information about Ohio’s decency law. They put me on hold and took a poll around the office to decide how topless I could legally be in public.

    With my non-binary birth certificate in hand, I attempted to get a non-binary passport and update my social security record. Both times, a clerk on the phone told me I could change my records, and both times, it turned out not to be true.

    Rosie the basset hound is still alive and kicking, thanks in part to cold laser treatment and CBD.

    Flat basset!

    Foods: Homemade almond milk, Homemade oat milk, Daiya vegan pizza (not food), Homemade crackers (meh), Homemade vegan butter, Mushroom calamari

    Places: Canada, Maine, AZ Zipline Adventures, Welcome to Las Vegas sign

    Events: Stomp!, Conex, Shabbat

    Celebrity Sightings

    • Henry Rollins
    • Mindy Kaling

    In Memoriam

    • Sylus Kolsrud
    • Carol Channing
    • Bernice Sandler
    • Tim Frank
    • Mars Rover Opportunity
    • Luke Perry
    • Grumpy Cat
    • Frida Carter-Ortmeyer
    • Zavi Solis
    • Buddy Williams
    • Cokie Roberts
    • Aron Eisenberg
    • Ad Wedzik
    • Johnny Cash Moriarty
    • Caroll Spinney
    • Rene Auberjonois

  • Undeniable Recap of 2018

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    Ruth Carter

    It’s been a busy year, and I’ve barely blogged a thing. Sorry about that. I’ll do better in 2019.

    I’m glad I keep my jar of happy memories next to my bed to remind me of all the good things that happened this year. Sometimes with everything that was happening in the world, it was challenging to remember that everything doesn’t suck all the time. So many good things happened that I had to do more than a top five list:

    Top 5 Events

    1. Non-Binary Birth Certificate: I am officially legally non-binary! I had my California birth certificate corrected and re-issued, so now it states that I’m non-binary. For now, I can’t get a non-binary driver’s license in Arizona, but I’m working on it. I hope to influence the State to pass a bill that will allow non-binary birth certificates and driver’s licenses next session. Having a non-binary birth certificate also makes me want to go to states that have passed “bathroom bills” and ask where my restroom is.

    2. First Marathon and Triathlon: I finished a marathon this past January. By Mile 20, I was hurting but also planning for my next race (which will be in February 2019). During the off season, I had Coach David add biking and swimming to my workouts for cross training. A few months later I signed up for my first sprint triathlon – just to see if I liked it. Less than 100 yards into the swim I thought, “Yeah, I like this.”

    3. Christopher Creek Lodge Vacation: I shipped Rosie and myself away from society for a few days to stay at a cabin with bad wi-fi. We spent a lot of time reading, watching nature, rejuvenating, and getting my creative energy flowing again. It was what I needed.

    4. Open Water Swim with the Jewish Swim Club: When I started swimming this year, Coach David asked, “What’s the goal?” I responded that I wanted to hold my own “with the Jews.” (Note: When I started my swim workouts in April, the furthest I could swim the first day was 75 yards.) During the summer, David and his friends swim in the ocean off Brighton Beach, sometimes a mile or more.

    By the end of June David asked when I was coming to visit. I did a whirlwind trip, flying across the country on Thursday, to go swimming at 7am on Friday, and be back home in less than 24 hours. It was an awesome trip, including the swim. This was my first real open water swim, and I had a bit of a panic attack at the start. Once I realized I would never find my cadence in the waves, I was fine.

    5. I Became an Oggy:  A few months ago, my sister had a baby. (I can’t wait to meet the little human.) If they don’t post photos of the little one for seven days, I send my sister and brother-in-law an email that says, “Send proof of infant.”

    I had to figure out what I am to my nibling (collective term for niece/nephew). There is no gender-neutral term for aunt/uncle. I adopted a term from another non-binary person: “Oggy” (rhymes with “doggy”). I like being “Oggy Ruth.”

    Honorable Mentions

    Seeing Dan Savage Live: If you ever get the chance to see him speak, go.

    Blind Rosie: Rosie went blind a few weeks ago, and we had to remove her other eye. She was in surgery a few hours after waking up blind that day. When I brought her home, she was bit freaked out by the protective cone she had to wear, and she refused to walk. My neighbors, Sarah and Thomas, came to my rescue and helped carry Rosie into the house when we got home. Since then, we’ve both adjusted to blind basset life. She’s such a trooper.

    Rescue Dogs at CMWorld: Last year at Content Marketing World, I asked for rescue dogs in the expo hall. (Everyone loves dogs, right?) This year, they made it happen! One of the happy hours was “Yappy Hour” where, for a donation, we got to pet adoptable dogs from City Dogs Cleveland. I hope it becomes a standard part of the event.

    Skateboarding: Last year, the crew at Content Marketing World bought me a penny skateboard. This year, I learned how to ride it – with lessons, pads, and the whole she-bang. I also bought a proper board. I love riding my board. When I’m skateboarding, I literally can’t think about anything else, otherwise the risk of falling is too great. I’ll tell you the whole story next year.

    Firsts in 2018

    Fostered a dog for a week – and learned that Rosie’s meant to be an only child.

    Peleton class – at the flagship studio

    Ebay listing – sold my BarBri books

    Rubber bands on my Invisalign trays

    SlotZilla Zip Line

    Settlement conference

    Deposition

    Garmin watch

    Amazon affiliate link

    Seeing Chicago’s Second City perform

    Visit to Bart Simpson Bust

    Being told I look like a young Richard Gere by the clerk at JJ Hat Center

    Swimming in the Atlantic Ocean, Lake Erie, and Tempe Town Lake (Yes, I was up-to-date on my tetanus shot. No, I didn’t get super powers.)

    Events: Intelligent Content Conference, American Alliance of Museums conference

    Attempts to be a Better Human (affiliate link): Reusable produce bags and jars, Bringing my own container to the store for Rosie’s chicken, Zero waste deodorant, Bamboo toothbrush, Menstrual cup

    Foods: Making beans from dried, vegan pancakes, Daiya Cheddar Style Cheezy Mac (not bad), Lenny & Larry’s The Complete Cookie – Chocolate Chip (not worth it), overnight oats, Just Desserts vegan chocolate midnight cupcake (delicious but soooo sweet), chia seed pudding (meh), Café Indigo vegan carrot cake (yum)

    Celebrity Sightings

    Margaret Cho

    Elizabeth Smart

    Dan Savage

    Tina Fey

    In Memoriam

    Stephen Hawking

    Harry Anderson

    Larry Dolan

    Kate Spade

    Anthony Bourdain

    Aretha Franklin

    Elena Shushunova

    John McCain

    Mary Sigler

    Burt Reynolds

    Jay Bottomlee

    Stan Lee

    Penny Marshall

  • In Memoriam: Rocky Kees (1949-2013)

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    Ruth Carter

    I want my friends in my life. Because someday we’re gonna wake up, and we’re gonna find that someone is missing from this circle. And on that day, we’re gonna mourn. And we shouldn’t have to mourn alone.

    -Chief Miles O’Brien from “The Sound of Her Voice,” Star Trek: Deep Space Nine

    That day I’ve been dreading has come – Rocky Kees – my gymnastics coach, mentor, and friend of 24 years passed away last week. He was an absolutely incredible person who brought out the best in everyone around him. Rocky made your feel special and respected in every situation (which is an incredible gift when you work with teenage girls). He was the kind of guy you could hang out with for hours and just listen to him tell stories.

    Rocky Kees (December 20, 1949 - August 14, 2013)
    Rocky Kees
    (December 20, 1949 – August 14, 2013)

    Rocky scared me when I first met him. He was tall with long thin limbs but his bicep bulged out like a softball when he flexed. He had sunken eyes and thick glasses that made him pretty foreboding to 10 year-old me. And he pushed us to our limits – in a lovingly way. I never trained harder than when I was with Rocky. At first I hated it but I came to love it. He brought out the best in us and there was an incredible sense of security when it came to working with him. If he said you could do something, you knew you could do it. He had a wonderful calming effect on me.

    For years, if you were looking for me, the best course of action was to scan the room for him, go over about two feet and look down. That’s where you’d usually find me. At the end of practice every night, Rocky was usually outside chatting with parents with his coffee in his left hand and a cigarette in his right. I liked to pad outside, velcro myself to his left side (so he wouldn’t ash on me), and wrap my arms around his middle. He would look down to make sure it was me but keep talking without breaking his cadence. When there was a natural break in the conversation he’d look down and say something like “How’s it going Baby Duck?”

    He called lots of us “Baby Duck” (apparently it’s a movie reference) but it was fitting for me. I followed him around constantly, happy to share his company and glean whatever gems I could from him. Rocky shared so many lessons that applied to life as much as to gymnastics. Here are some of the ones that have been going through my mind for the last few days.

    • Life’s tough. Get a helmet.
    • Dump the cement bag and climb the ladder. (Translation: don’t make things harder than they need to be.)
    • Do what you know how to do.

    There are so many Rocky lessons I use in my everyday life. They’ve gotten me through law school, training for half marathons, and challenges in my professional and personal life. In so many ways he’s become the voice in my head, always guiding me in the right direction. Even when he wasn’t physically with me, he was still there.

    Since his passing, it’s been wonderful to connect with my gymnastics coaches and teammates to share pictures and memories. The world lost an amazing person and we were the lucky ones who got to know him.