• Ruminations on the Road

    Relaxing for a moment at the Trees of Mystery
    Relaxing for a moment at the Trees of Mystery

    I’ve been ruminating about my sexual abuse and the person I used to be for the last few days. I’ve had memories of my past and parts of others’ stories of abuse (real and fictionalized) entering my mind at random times. They’re nothing compared to full-blown flash backs which leave my completely paralyzed until the memory has run its course but they are thoughts and ideas that invade my brain and random and often inopportune times.

    It came on fast and strong while I was walking through San Francisco. Ruminations are not new for me but they are something I haven’t had an issue with for a few months. Memories and ideas by themselves are not harmful but they can be distracting, and at times distressing. I told myself, “Ok sweetie, calm down. It’s ok that you’re having these thoughts but you’re scheduled to speak in an hour. Perhaps you should focus on that.”

    I got through my talk just fine, but that random invasive thoughts continued to enter my brain whenever I had down time. As I was driving north towards Oregon, I tried to step back and look for themes running through the memories. I noticed my thoughts had underlying issues of anxiety, rejection, vulnerability, being attacked, and craving comfort. I grew up in northern California and I wondered if being near the places and people that are connected to the time of my abuse and the maladaptive behaviors I engaged in to cope with it was stirring me up emotionally.

    I wonder if the thoughts will subside the further away I get from California. Perhaps I’m getting emotionally agitated because The Undeniable Tour is almost done and I have so much crammed into the back half of this trip. I guess time will tell.

  • SALK Day 30 – Combat PTSD

    Today’s sponsor asked me to write about the current problem of soldiers not getting the support and services they need when they return from serving overseas with post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).  Since I used to be a licensed professional counselor in Arizona, I have some thoughts on this topic.  Just to be clear, I have treated veterans in the past, I have no personal experience treating veterans with PTSD after returning from combat and this blog should not be viewed as mental health advice.

    PTSD occurs in people who have experienced a traumatic event that involved a threat of death or serious injury that results in intense fear, helplessness, or horror.  A person who has PTSD experiences recurring intrusive thoughts regarding the traumatic event such as flashbacks or nightmares.  They tend to be more detached from others, have a restricted range of emotions, have difficulties related to sleep, controlling their anger, and concentrating.

    A Seabee maintains security by manning an M60 ...
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    PTSD is referred to as the invisible war wound.  A recent survey showed that nearly 1 in 5 soldiers returning from Iraq had symptoms of PTSD.  This is a striking increase from a 2004 a study showed that 1 in 8 returning soldiers had symptoms of PTSD.  Some believe that the problem is more serious than these statistics suggest and is being made worse because of the long tours of duty and occupation of Iraq.  The 2004 study showed that only half of the soldiers who had symptoms of PTSD were receiving treatment.  Some of the barriers to treatment were fears about how they would be perceived by their peers and that it would negatively impact their military careers.

    Since 2001, approximately 2 million troops have been deployed to Iraq.  If 20% of them have or have had PTSD as a result of their combat service, that’s 400,000 people who would benefit from mental health services and nearly 200,000 who aren’t getting the services they need.

    Unfortunately, this is not an easy problem to treat.  Symptoms may not become apparent immediately after returning combat and it may take months or years treatment.  PTSD is a complex mental illness and isn’t something that a person can handle on their own, and often the love from family and friends isn’t enough.  When PTSD goes untreated, the person often has trouble with interpersonal relationships and may self-medicate their symptoms with drugs or alcohol.  In the last four years, there have been frightening  increases in the number of suicides in active and non-active duty soldiers.  It would not be surprised if this is related in part to untreated PTSD.

    There are some wonderful online resources for soldiers that specifically address combat PTSD and the unique needs and experiences of soldiers and their loved ones.

    Sponsor A Law Kid is my endeavor to pay for my last semester of law school. Today’s sponsor is Katrina Holland.  For more information about Sponsor A Law Kid or to see what days are still available for sponsorship, visit my Sponsor A Law Kid page.

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