The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • I Minimized My Hair

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    Ruth Carter

    Love my new fuzzy head.

    For me, being a minimalist means that, when something doesn’t add value to my life, I get rid of it. Every January, I flip all the hangers in my closet, and only flip each one back after I’ve worn the garment. At the end of the year, whatever garments that still haven’t been flipped back are removed from my closet. This year, along with the hanger flip, I put all my t-shirts in a box and they’ll go back in the drawer only after I’ve worn them. There’s no point in holding onto clothes I don’t wear.

    A few months ago, I didn’t like what I saw when I looked in the mirror each morning. My hair was doing nothing for me. No matter what I did, I didn’t like it, nor did I like having to put energy into styling it each day. On the mornings I went swimming, I didn’t bother styling it. I rocked my bedhead to the pool. It was going to get wet and messed up anyway.

    The Decision

    After weeks of frustration and doing my last photoshoot of 2018, I decided to shave my head – and commit to keeping it that way for at least a year. I went to the salon and had them run a number zero clipper all over my head.

    Awh…much better.

    Living Buzzed

    For the most part, I like having a buzzed head. From the moment I wake up, my hair is ready to go. I wash my hair with my shampoo bar (affiliate link) after getting out of the pool, but otherwise, I spend no time on my hair day-to-day.

    I find myself rubbing my head when I’m stressed. I like the way it feels, and I never have to worry about messing it up.

    In terms of wardrobe, buzzed head works with my typical jeans and t-shirts wardrobe. I feel like a badass when I wear a tank top. The only time it’s been a challenge was when I was picking out my outfits to perform in Rev. Patrick’s Holiday Concert. I felt unbalanced wearing a big sparkling gown with my no hair. There was too great of a contrast, much like when I tried to wear dangly earrings with super-short hair in my younger days. It works for some people but not for others. I’m one of the others. (I haven’t changed the studs in my ears for years.)

    What worked for me instead of a gown was a jumpsuit. I’ve always been a fan of them. I’d love to have a Star Trek-inspired jumpsuit for everyday wear.

    Maintenance

    When my hair shifts from feeling fuzzy to being soft like crushed velvet, I re-shave it, usually every 10-12 days. I purchased a set of clippers so I can maintain my hair myself. I felt nervous before I shaved my head myself for the first time, but it’s really fun. And I learned the hard way you can cut your ear with clippers.

    Typically, two factors determine when I shave my head again:

    1. Whether I have a bike or run workout the next day. I keep my hair until that workout is done to keep my head a little warmer. (I also wear a hat for workouts in the winter, but it’s chilly out there!)
    2. When I have enough time to shave my head and vacuum the floor. Even with almost no hair, buzzing my head leaves a mess all over my bathroom.

    No Regrets

    I have no regrets about shaving my head for a year. It’s so easy. I like how it looks, and more importantly, I like how it feels – physically and emotionally. Some of my friends have been less than supportive, saying that I look better with hair, and maybe that’s true. But I’m the one who has to live with it.

    For now, I’m happier without hair.

  • Undeniable Recap of 2018

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    Ruth Carter

    It’s been a busy year, and I’ve barely blogged a thing. Sorry about that. I’ll do better in 2019.

    I’m glad I keep my jar of happy memories next to my bed to remind me of all the good things that happened this year. Sometimes with everything that was happening in the world, it was challenging to remember that everything doesn’t suck all the time. So many good things happened that I had to do more than a top five list:

    Top 5 Events

    1. Non-Binary Birth Certificate: I am officially legally non-binary! I had my California birth certificate corrected and re-issued, so now it states that I’m non-binary. For now, I can’t get a non-binary driver’s license in Arizona, but I’m working on it. I hope to influence the State to pass a bill that will allow non-binary birth certificates and driver’s licenses next session. Having a non-binary birth certificate also makes me want to go to states that have passed “bathroom bills” and ask where my restroom is.

    2. First Marathon and Triathlon: I finished a marathon this past January. By Mile 20, I was hurting but also planning for my next race (which will be in February 2019). During the off season, I had Coach David add biking and swimming to my workouts for cross training. A few months later I signed up for my first sprint triathlon – just to see if I liked it. Less than 100 yards into the swim I thought, “Yeah, I like this.”

    3. Christopher Creek Lodge Vacation: I shipped Rosie and myself away from society for a few days to stay at a cabin with bad wi-fi. We spent a lot of time reading, watching nature, rejuvenating, and getting my creative energy flowing again. It was what I needed.

    4. Open Water Swim with the Jewish Swim Club: When I started swimming this year, Coach David asked, “What’s the goal?” I responded that I wanted to hold my own “with the Jews.” (Note: When I started my swim workouts in April, the furthest I could swim the first day was 75 yards.) During the summer, David and his friends swim in the ocean off Brighton Beach, sometimes a mile or more.

    By the end of June David asked when I was coming to visit. I did a whirlwind trip, flying across the country on Thursday, to go swimming at 7am on Friday, and be back home in less than 24 hours. It was an awesome trip, including the swim. This was my first real open water swim, and I had a bit of a panic attack at the start. Once I realized I would never find my cadence in the waves, I was fine.

    5. I Became an Oggy:  A few months ago, my sister had a baby. (I can’t wait to meet the little human.) If they don’t post photos of the little one for seven days, I send my sister and brother-in-law an email that says, “Send proof of infant.”

    I had to figure out what I am to my nibling (collective term for niece/nephew). There is no gender-neutral term for aunt/uncle. I adopted a term from another non-binary person: “Oggy” (rhymes with “doggy”). I like being “Oggy Ruth.”

    Honorable Mentions

    Seeing Dan Savage Live: If you ever get the chance to see him speak, go.

    Blind Rosie: Rosie went blind a few weeks ago, and we had to remove her other eye. She was in surgery a few hours after waking up blind that day. When I brought her home, she was bit freaked out by the protective cone she had to wear, and she refused to walk. My neighbors, Sarah and Thomas, came to my rescue and helped carry Rosie into the house when we got home. Since then, we’ve both adjusted to blind basset life. She’s such a trooper.

    Rescue Dogs at CMWorld: Last year at Content Marketing World, I asked for rescue dogs in the expo hall. (Everyone loves dogs, right?) This year, they made it happen! One of the happy hours was “Yappy Hour” where, for a donation, we got to pet adoptable dogs from City Dogs Cleveland. I hope it becomes a standard part of the event.

    Skateboarding: Last year, the crew at Content Marketing World bought me a penny skateboard. This year, I learned how to ride it – with lessons, pads, and the whole she-bang. I also bought a proper board. I love riding my board. When I’m skateboarding, I literally can’t think about anything else, otherwise the risk of falling is too great. I’ll tell you the whole story next year.

    Firsts in 2018

    Fostered a dog for a week – and learned that Rosie’s meant to be an only child.

    Peleton class – at the flagship studio

    Ebay listing – sold my BarBri books

    Rubber bands on my Invisalign trays

    SlotZilla Zip Line

    Settlement conference

    Deposition

    Garmin watch

    Amazon affiliate link

    Seeing Chicago’s Second City perform

    Visit to Bart Simpson Bust

    Being told I look like a young Richard Gere by the clerk at JJ Hat Center

    Swimming in the Atlantic Ocean, Lake Erie, and Tempe Town Lake (Yes, I was up-to-date on my tetanus shot. No, I didn’t get super powers.)

    Events: Intelligent Content Conference, American Alliance of Museums conference

    Attempts to be a Better Human (affiliate link): Reusable produce bags and jars, Bringing my own container to the store for Rosie’s chicken, Zero waste deodorant, Bamboo toothbrush, Menstrual cup

    Foods: Making beans from dried, vegan pancakes, Daiya Cheddar Style Cheezy Mac (not bad), Lenny & Larry’s The Complete Cookie – Chocolate Chip (not worth it), overnight oats, Just Desserts vegan chocolate midnight cupcake (delicious but soooo sweet), chia seed pudding (meh), Café Indigo vegan carrot cake (yum)

    Celebrity Sightings

    Margaret Cho

    Elizabeth Smart

    Dan Savage

    Tina Fey

    In Memoriam

    Stephen Hawking

    Harry Anderson

    Larry Dolan

    Kate Spade

    Anthony Bourdain

    Aretha Franklin

    Elena Shushunova

    John McCain

    Mary Sigler

    Burt Reynolds

    Jay Bottomlee

    Stan Lee

    Penny Marshall

  • My 2019 Reading List

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    Ruth Carter

    Included in the scary lofty goals I set for 2019, I have a stack of books I want to read. Everyone has a stack of books on their bedside table, right? I’m excited to dig into these books and spend less time mindlessly watching videos online. Here’s what’s on my reading list, in no particular order.

    Note: These are all affiliate links. If you click on a link and purchase any of these books, you’ll pay the same as everyone else, but I’ll get a small commission.

    My Bedside Book Stack

    Content Inc.: How Entrepreneurs Use Content to Build Massive Audiences and Create Radically Successful Business by Joe Pulizzi
    As the godfather of content marketing, when Joe Pulizzi speaks, I shut up and listen. I’ve had the pleasure of seeing him speak since joining the Content Marketing World family in 2015. I come away from each of his talks with pages of ideas and actionable steps to apply to my content. After devouring Killing Marketing earlier this year, I’m excited to read this book.

     

    Break the Wheel: Question Best Practices, Hone Your Intuition, and Do Your Best Work by Jay Acunzo
    I started following Jay Acunzo’s podcast, Unthinkable, after seeing him speak at Content Marketing World. I spent many mornings running with his interviews with non-traditional entrepreneurs in my ears. He highlights people who found success by ignoring “best practices” and doing what made sense for them. I believe my intuition is never wrong (though sometimes inaccurate), and I look forward to reading about other entrepreneurs who follow their gut instincts.

     

    Body of Work: Finding the Thread That Ties Your Story Together by Pamela Slim
    I consider Pam Slim to be one of my entrepreneurial mentors. I lovingly call her “Aunt Pam.” She has exceptional business instincts and she’s nurturing of others. Many entrepreneurs do a lot of different types of work and this book should help me tell my story effectively and “continually reinvent and relaunch [my] brand.”

     

    The Definition of Success: What Living Homeless Can Teach You by Derek Snook
    I heard about this book at Content Marketing World this year. Derek Snook voluntary became one of the people he was trying to help in order to learn how to best provide for their actual needs, rather than speculate what their needs are as an outsider looking in. Additionally, I’m drawn to the belief that the definition of “success” is personal. As a minimalist, I know my definition of success has nothing to do with the car I drive or what jewelry I wear.

     

    The Storytelling Edge: How to Transform Your Business, Stop Screaming into the Void, and Make People Love You by Joe Lazauskas and Shane Snow
    I was impressed by Joe Lazauskas’ talk on storytelling at the Intelligent Content Conference this year. I hope this book will help me engage and connect with my audience by telling more powerful stories related to my work.

     

    With Lolly the Llama

    Talk Triggers: The Complete Guide to Creating Customers with Word of Mouth by Jay Baer and Daniel Lemin
    I loved Jay Baer’s talk on talk triggers at Content Marketing World this year. These are things that companies do to get people to talk about them – like the chocolate chip cookie you get when you check into the Doubletree Hilton hotel or how everything at Content Marketing World is orange. Jay’s book has llamas on the front and he sent it to me with stuffed llama toy. I’m curious to read the book and learn about the connection.

     

    Side Hustle: From Idea to Income in 27 Days by Chris Guillebeau
    I like Chris Guillebeau because he seems like a quiet guy in person, but beneath that calm exterior, he’s dripping with grit and determination. I started reading this book a few months ago and it lays out what you can do day-by-day to bring an idea to market in under a month. Reading his work helps me not get bogged down in the minutiae of creating a “perfect” product but rather focus on bringing the minimum viable product to market and revise based on actual customer feedback.

     

    Your Brightest Life Journal: A Creative Guide to Becoming Your Best Self by Caroline Kelso Zook
    Earlier this year, I bought Jason and Caroline Zook’s future. I paid a flat fee and every time they come out with a new product or service, I automatically get it. I’ve used Jason’s products in the past, and it made sense to make this investment. This is my first Caroline-create product and I’m excited to see her thoughts. I think I might be like her – someone who was hesitant to get into the product-creation business, but willing to try because she had something of value to offer.

     

    The Inevitable: Understanding the 12 Technological Forces That Will Shape Our Future by Kevin Kelly and Deep Work: Rules for Focused Success in a Distracted World by Cal Newport
    I picked up these two books at an invite-only event for lawyers called TBD Law that was only open to forward thinking practitioners. Other attendees spoke well of both books. I’m all for more focused work and success, especially with everything I have on my plate.

     

    DMCA Handbook for Online Service Providers, Websites, and Copyright Owners by Connie Mableson
    Connie Mableson is a lawyer and a colleague who works in my building. She knows the DMCA forwards and backwards, and I’m always looking for resources that will make me a better practitioner and help my client be more effective in protecting their intellectual property.

     

    The E-Myth Attorney: Why Most Legal Practices Don’t Work and What to Do About It by Michael Gerber, Robert Armstrong, and Sanford Fisch
    I read the general E-Myth book early in my experience as an entrepreneur and I was enormously helpful. It helped me think about creating systems and a master document for how my business should be run. I hope this book gives me suggestions about how to be a more effective business owner.

     

    Alight and Alone by Scott Sigler
    These are the second and third books in the Generations Trilogy Series. I’ve already read the first book, Alive. I rarely read fiction because my brain knows it’s not real, so it doesn’t easily remember the storyline. Scott Sigler is one of the few writers who captivates my attention. If you like sci-fi, I highly recommend him. I’ll be reading Alone along with the audio version of the book that he put out via his podcast.

     

    Books I’m Re-visiting in 2019
    Killing Marketing: How Innovative Businesses are Turning Marketing Costs into Profit by Joe Pulizzi and Robert Rose
    I devoured this book in three days while Rosie and I were on vacation this year. The pages are filled with underlined passages and notes in the margins. I came away from it teeming with ideas for creating more blog content. I’ll definitely be going back to review my notes.

     

    Zombie Loyalists: Using Great Service to Create Rabid Fans by Peter Shankman
    I’m interested in doing more research and speaking about integrity. As a lawyer, I know there’s a huge difference between what someone can do and what they should do. So many issues (legal and otherwise) would be prevented if people merely did the right thing. I know this book has many examples of companies doing the right thing by their customers, at least after a substantial misstep.

    What’s on your reading list?