• Ironman Lake Placid – The Supporters

    I’ve shared the details of my experience with the three sections of Ironman Lake Placid: the 2.4-mile swim, the 112-mile bike, and the 26.2-mile run. Now, I want to tell you about some of the supporters and volunteers who helped make this an amazing experience.

    Leading Up to the Race

    In addition to Coach David, who I talked or texted with almost daily, another person who was instrumental in my Ironman journey was my physical therapist, Kristina. Already an Ironman herself, she helped keep my body working through the training, especially my hips and back. I was on the physical therapy table every other week for months leading up to my race, getting ASTYM and other body manipulations. After the race, she put me in compression boots for 30 minutes, which was instrumental for relieving my sore muscles.

    My friends were also supportive, regularly asking about my workouts and how I was feeling the last few days before I flew to New York. I was a bundle of excitement and nerves. A few days before I left, I received good luck cards: one from my farm family and on from my officemates. I took both cards with me on the trip and kept them out on the table in my hotel, serving as constant reminders of support from afar.

    On the day before the race, my friends filled my phone with text messages that said, “Good luck,” “So proud of you,” and “We’re all praying for you.”

    Compression Boots! They went up to my waist!

    Race Volunteers

    I could not talk about the many people who supported me along my Ironman journey without talking about the race volunteers. Over 1800 people volunteered their time to make Ironman Lake Placid possible.

    The race volunteers were involved in nearly every aspect of my race experience. You couldn’t miss them in their bright neon green t-shirts. They were at race registration where we got our race numbers and gear bags. They were in the transition area both the day before and on race day. They made up the set up and clean up crews. They were also the lifeguards, paddleboarders, and kayakers at the lake. (I heard there were also scuba divers in the lake in case anyone drowned.)

    They were the “strippers” who peeled off our wetsuits. They worked all the aid stations during the bike and run, handing out supplies in the hot sun and into the night. They were the medics. They were the people who put the medals around our necks after we crossed the finish line.

    Thank You 2022 IRONMAN Lake Placid Volunteers!

    This race wouldnt be possible without our AMAZING volunteers. Thank you for all your hard work and dedication to IRONMAN Lake Placid. Show our volunteers some love in the comments!

    Posted by IRONMAN Lake Placid on Thursday, July 28, 2022

    One of the perk of volunteering at an Ironman race is you get an earlier chance to register for the next year’s race. For Ironman Lake Placid 2023, this year’s racers had first dibs, then that race’s volunteers, and then registration was open to the general public. Apparently some races fill up so fast that you almost have to volunteer to get a slot to be in next year’s race.

    Yes, people sign up a year in advance to do an Ironman race.

    I made an extra effort to thank all the volunteers I interacted with for being there. I know from experience that watching people race isn’t the most fun way to spend a day.

    Photo courtesy of Ironman

    The White Bracelets

    Each racer received a white rubber bracelet when we picked up our gear bags at registration. This bracelet wasn’t for us per se but for us to give as a “gold star” and to say thank you to a volunteer who helped us during the race.

    I love that Ironman acknowledges its volunteers and gives us a way say special thanks to a volunteer who made a difference in our race.

    I gave my white bracelet to a volunteer in the transition area. I’d finished the swim, changed my clothes, grabbed my bike, and was walking it to the beginning of the bike portion when I noticed the lenses of my sunglasses were smudged. Given that I was wearing only a spandex onesie, I had nothing to wipe them on.

    As I walked towards the bike start, I spotted a volunteer in her neon green cotton t-shirt.

    Cotton!

    I paused next to her and asked if I could wipe my glasses on her shirt. She took my sunglasses from me, expertly wiped each lens with the hem of her shirt, and handed them back to me.

    Much better!

    I thanked her as I slid my white bracelet off my wrist and handed it to her.

    Support from the Whole Community

    Lake Placid and surrounding communities welcomed the Ironman invasion one weekend a year. There were definitely more than just the family and friends of the racers in the sea of people who cheered us on throughout the day.

    Many of these supporters stayed out with us all day. Even after the sun went down, they were still there. Some of the locals invited their friends over and set up camp in front of their homes to watch us. As I ran past one group, I got the distinct vibe of “this is what we do.” Living on the race route meant you hung out to watch and cheer.  

    One sweet-looking older lady stood on her driveway and watched the parade of racers go by in their spandex. I wonder if she was particularly interested in the younger guys’ butts.

    Even the people who were obviously there for one person wearing matching shirts, and holding signs or giant heads of their loved ones were cheering everyone on.

    They all got it.

    Whether they’d done an Ironman race before or not, they knew we were pushing ourselves through this incredibly difficult challenge. I could feel the vibe of “We honor what you’re doing” coming from all of them. I hope they understand how much their presence meant.

    Photo courtesy of Ironman

    Human Car Wash

    Several people who lived along the run route set up what I called the “human car washes” at the side of the road. It’s a garden hose attached to a rectangular frame of PVC pipe with holes on the interior, so when the water’s turned on, sprays of water shoot inward. When you walk through this, you get a cool spray of water all over your body.

    Some people, like me, gratefully walked through each of these human car washes. Others used them to rinse the film of sweat, dirt, and Gatorade from their hands; they didn’t want to their shoes, and therefore their feet, wet.

    These were a highlight of the end of my race and supplemented the cups of ice I picked up at each aid station. These supporters ran their human car washes for hours, running up their water bill to keep us cool.

    Hat Tip to the Strawberry Blonde Volunteer

    There was a volunteer who worked inside the women’s changing tent during T2 with a long strawberry blonde hair ponytail. She was loud, but not in a bad way, making sure we all knew she was there for whatever we needed – water, Vaseline, reminders of where to put our gear bags, whatever.

    She never sounded bored or distracted, even though she was in that poorly ventilated tent for hours, saying the same things over and over again. The population of the changing tent turned over every 10ish minutes, and she was present and available for whoever needed her.

    What really showed me about how dedicated she was to supporting us was the fact that I saw her again while I was on my second lap of the run. This time she was in crowd at the side of the street. She was still in her neon green volunteer shirt, but her shift was over. Even though she had no obligation to be there, she was still there cheering us on. I noted many

    white bracelets on her wrist, each one well deserved.

    Messages on my Phone

    The last thing I want to share about the amazing supporter I had during my race is the many messages I received after the race. I left my phone in my hotel room as earbuds are not allowed during the race.

    Here’s a sampling of the messages that were waiting for me when I got back to my hotel room:

    • “Congratulations!!!! You did it!!! You are a legit Ironman!!! Simply amazing. I can’t wait to hear all about. Now get some rest and eat some good food!!”
    • “15:21:42 holy fucking shit that’s AMAZING I’M SO PROUD OF YOU!!!!!”
    • “So awesome and so proud of you. I have been following you all day!”
    • “YOU DID IT!!!!!! CONGRATS!!”

    It felt so good to know that my friends were keeping an eye on my progress throughout the day. It felt like a long-distance hug.

    Next week: the last chapter of my 2022 Ironman Lake Placid experience – your questions answered!

  • Undeniable Recap of 2021

    We didn’t do it gracefully, but we survived 2021. Holy f^¢king sh*t it’s been a roller coaster of a year. Here are some of the highlights.

    Lucy is such a happy dog!

    Lucy Jane Carter

    On April 28, 2021, I got a call from the president of the Arizona Basset Hound Rescue asking if I’d take in a foster. A 3-year-old basset was found wandering by herself in Tempe – no tag or microchip. As I loaded this hound into my car a few hours later I thought, “Here’s to another 10-year commitment.” I named her Lucy Jane.

    Lucy Jane came into my life exactly when I needed her. I’d survived a car accident and sustained a concussion only a few weeks earlier. When I noticed her mellow loving temperament, I registered her as my emotional support dog. We’ve barely been apart since then. She goes to work with me every day, and we even turn my trip to Cleveland for Content Marketing World into a road trip so she could come with me. She’s brought so much love into my life.

    Faith wearing Rosie’s sweater. She was so little!

    Faith Helen Carter

    The reason why I could take in a foster in April, was because Faith, the basset hound I adopted at the end of December 2020, only lived 36 days. For those 36 days, my life was focused on giving this little girl the best life I could. Rescued from a breeder in Tijuana, Faith came with a host of medical issues, including renal failure. On February 1st, after rushing her to the ER for what would be the last time, I accepted that my job was to give this little basset a soft place to land and surround her with love for her final days.

    We did it!

    5K Ocean Swim with the Jews

    Thanks to the pandemic, I’ve been training for my first full Ironman race since the fall of 2019. My race was cancelled in 2020 and 2021. (Hopefully third time’s a charm in 2022.) I still flew to New York to do the 5K ocean swim. My original plan was to do this 3.1-mile swim so that a 2.4-mile swim on race day would be easy in comparison.

    For context, my coach, David Roher, and his friend and my teammate, Shlomo, swim in the ocean at least once a week all summer, and several friends periodically join them, all of whom happen to be Jewish. It was important to me that I could hold my own with this group, not just as part of my training, but also because I didn’t want to be the weakling who couldn’t keep up.

    It turned out, I had nothing to worry about. My training paid off, and I held my own just fine with the “Jewish Swim Team” as I lovingly called them. Coach David swam behind me, just to my left, and I when I periodically drifted out to sea, he grabbed my foot and pulled me back on course. (Swimming in a straight line isn’t my strength.)

    Cow hugging with Moothias – he’s such a sweetheart.

    Volunteering at Aimee’s Farm Animal Sanctuary

    I changed my work schedule at the end of 2021. Now on Monday mornings, when everyone else is heading back to work after the weekend, I head out to Aimee’s Farm Animal Sanctuary. This sanctuary is home to over 100 cows, goats, sheep, chickens, and other animals, many of which have special needs. A lot of the time, my job there involves scooping poop and laying out fresh straw, but it also includes spreading love, petting the animals, and singing to them.

    JK and I decided that we’re in a boy band called Boy Band.

    Hugging my Friends

    As I went through my jar of happy memories while I worked on this Undeniable Recap for this year, I noted that a lot of them were notes about hugging various friends. Between the pandemic and busy lives, I don’t get to see my friends as much as I’d like, so when we do get to meet in person, it’s so wonderful to have that moment where we get to hug.

    We drove out of our way to stand on the corner in Winslow, AZ.

    Firsts in 2021

    Rushing a pet to the ER; Having a pet hospitalized over night

    Cooking with a BBQ

    Using a composting service

    Staying at a Getaway Cabin (I hope they create an outpost in Arizona.)

    Hosting a law graduate for a bar exam

    Getting Experience Points on Sigler in Place

    Getting a concussion as an adult

    Washing my car using a drive through car wash

    Biking at South Mountain on Silent Sunday

    Sights: Standing on the Corner in Winslow, AZ; Singing at Knight Rise in Scottsdale, AZ; Fearless Girl in New York, NY; Captain Janeway Statue in Bloomington, IN; Cadillac Ranch in Amarillo, TX

    We really drove out of our way to visit the Future Birthplace of Captain Janeway.

    Lessons Learned (or Re-learned) in 2021

    I’m a better person when I have a dog.

    Do not perform home surgery on yourself.

    Time is our most precious resource.

    Make time for self-care before you’re forced into it.

    If you answer the phone with, “It’s done. There’s blood everywhere,” the cops may show up at your front door.

    Dairy Queen has pup cups.

    Hooman and Hound – I love this dog.

    In Memoriam

    Hoomans: Ron Flavin, Joanne Rogers, Ethan Pleshe, Jane Murdock, Beverly Cleary, Carolyn Lange, Jason Wright, Michael Berch, Stephen Sondheim, Paul Saviano, James W. Trumpy, and Betty White

    Critter Friends: Jager Martin, NASA Shankman, Athena Takaha, Jasmine Guerrero, Wooliam Takaha, Violet Takaha, Rambo Inman, Pearl Takaha, Bart Isaacson-Ortmeyer, and Bunny Reilly

  • When Your Kid Says They’re Non-Binary

    A few weeks ago, I received a message from one of my classmates from high school that said her child recently came out to her and her husband as non-binary and said their pronouns are they/them. My friend asked how she can educate herself and what guidance I could offer for dealing with relatives who may be less accepting.

    When I responded, I started with, “Oh geez – your life just got a lot more complicated, but in a good way.” I gave her my number and asked her to let her kid know that they have an Oggy Ruth that they can talk to if they need a non-binary grown-up to talk to who “gets it” in ways they’re afraid that others can’t understand. (Oggy is the title I chose since there isn’t a gender-neutral term for aunt/uncle. It rhymes with “doggy.”)

    This button is on my backpack.

    There’s No One Way to be Non-Binary

    If your child was assigned male a birth (AMAB) and they’re actually female or assigned female at birth (AFAB) and they’re actually male, the expected trajectory is more clear and can include a new name, new hairstyle, different clothes, hormones, and gender affirming surgery. If your child is non-binary, it’s best to follow their lead. Invite them to tell you what they need, whether it’s a new name, new hairstyle, or different clothes. They may want some specialty items like a chest binder, stand to pee (STP), or a packer. Ask your child about their thoughts about hormones or hormone blockers. (Hormone blockers didn’t exist when I was a kid, but if I knew I was non-binary back then, I would have wanted them.) They may also want counseling. It’s not easy to navigate a binary-centric world as a non-binary person.

    Ask your child what they need from the institutions in their life. They might need gender neutral bathrooms at school. Some schools won’t address a child by their new name unless you legally change it. Your child may want to have their birth certificate and/or driver’s license corrected. Hopefully, you live in a state where you have that option.

    In regards to resources, I recommended Free Mom Hugs’ resource page. I love this organization, and this page has a wide variety of resources listed. I love seeing people in the audience at the Pride parade who wear t-shirts that say “Free Mom Hugs” and “Free Dad Hugs.” I always try to stop and hug them.

    Dealing with Less Than Accepting Relatives

    As the parent, you are your child’s advocate. Ask your kid how they want to tell the relatives, and as long as it isn’t inappropriate, support it.

    You may have to have a heart-to-heart with a relative if they are struggling to accept that your child is non-binary. They may have known your kid by a different name and pronouns for over 10 years, and adjusting to the new name and pronouns will be hard. Tell them it’s ok if they make mistakes, as long as they’re trying, and they correct themselves when it happens. Give them a chance to practice by talking about your non-binary child with them. (I have a co-worker who is working on using my correct pronouns. I’m tempted to tell him to talk about me with his family to practice.)

    Note: I have a friend who has had a non-binary kid for years. She still occasionally refers to them by the wrong name or pronoun. It’s ok if you or your family doesn’t adapt overnight.

    Your relative may have trouble wrapping their head around the idea that a person may not be male or female. That’s ok too. As long as they respect and accept that your child is telling the truth about who they are, I suspect your relative will be fine in the long run. Here’s my favorite video to share with people who are new to learning about what it means to be non-binary. (It’s also quite validating for me.)

    Whether your child is a different gender or sexuality than what you originally expected (or both), assume there are going to be inappropriate questions. I tell people that it’s fine to ask me all their potentially inappropriate questions as long as their coming from a place of respect and curiosity. There may be times when it’s best to respond with, “I understand that you’re curious, but that’s a very personal question. My kid will talk about that if and when they decide they want to bring that topic up with you.”

    Don’t be Afraid to Go into Mama/Papa Bear Mode

    If you have a non-binary kid, there may be times when you need to go into full-on mama bear or papa bear mode on their behalf. It may be with your child’s school, doctor, a relative, or even the government. Going to bat for your kid validates their experience, even if you don’t get the outcome you want.

    When your child tells you about a frustrating experience as a non-binary person in a binary-centric society, acknowledge it, even when you don’t understand why something is a big deal to them. Their feelings are valid, whatever they are. Hold space for your child so they have at least one place where it’s safe for them to be themselves and explore what their gender means to them.