The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Three Questions of Communication

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    Ruth Carter

    A few years ago I learned the best lesson for effective communication.  I don’t know who taught me this technique, but I am immensely grateful to them.  I learned that before I open my mouth, I have to ask three questions about what I want to say.

    1. Is it true?
    2. Is it necessary?
    3. Is it kind?

    If the answer to all three questions is “Yes,” then I can say it.  If not, I have to keep my mouth shut until I figure out a better way to phrase my thoughts.

    I had a job once where I often had to remind myself that it was inappropriate to tell people that they were morons.  Here’s how the questions tended to play out in my head:

    1. Is it true?  Yes!
    2. Is it necessary?  I think so.
    3. Is it kind?  <crickets>

    And back to the drawing board I went until I could find a kind way to say what I thought I needed to say.  This approach keeps me out of trouble, especially when I have strong opinions.  It keeps my mouth shut long enough for my brain to catch up with my emotions and determine the proper way to express my ideas.

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  • Best Birthday Present

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    Ruth Carter

    I have a birthday coming up this month.  I’ve never been one to make a big deal out of my birthday, but I do like to do something special to celebrate.  When it comes to presents, I tend to prefer experiences and adventures over physical stuff.  Possessions are, for the most part, tools.  When I ask for stuff it’s either something I need or something I’d like but I wouldn’t pay for myself.

    This past week I reflected back on my best birthday present ever.  It was the Saturday before I turned fifteen.    I had just gotten home from gymnastics practice.  My usual Saturday afternoon routine was to do my homework.  On that day, my parents had other plans.

    Mom:  Go put on jeans and a t-shirt.
    Me:  Why?
    Mom:  Just do it.

    It was a sunny California day and too hot for pants.  But I humored her and got changed.

    Mom:  Get in the car.
    Me:  Why?
    Mom:  Just do it.

    So now I was uncomfortably dressed and being kidnapped.  As we drove out of town, I was severely confused about what was going on.  I was very confused when we arrived at our little local airport.  We went into the airport’s main office and Mom went into the back office, leaving Dad and me in the lobby.

    Me:  What are we doing here?  Am I going skydiving?
    Dad:  No!  Your mother bought you a flying lesson.

    I spent the next hour learning the basics of flying a Cessna airplane.  It was an incredible feeling to have the controls in my hands.  I’ve had other unique adventures including bungee jumping, flying a helicopter, white water rafting, shooting M-16s, taking road trips, hot air ballooning,  and skydiving.  Some of the big adventures on my lifetime to-do list are going to Easter Island, doing a handstand on Antarctica, and completing the coast-to-coast hike across England.

    From all my adventures, I’ve learned that having possessions is nice, but the things that really matter are my experiences and the connections I have with other people.  I’m excited to see what the next year will bring.

  • Summer School 2010: Improv Acting Class

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    Ruth Carter

    I spent a significant amount of time this past semester applying for summer positions.  With the economy still on the rebound, they were hard to come by.  I made a promise to myself that no matter what I did during the summer before my last year of law school, I got to take improv acting classes.  I had a few experiences in the last year that inspired me to take a formal class:

    1. Captain Eric Mayer, U.S. Army JAG:  I had the pleasure of spending last summer with the Army JAG in Fort Leonard Wood, Missouri.  Captain Mayer was the defense attorney in the office, and he was phenomenal in the courtroom.  Whenever there was a court martial, I sat in the audience and watched him in complete awe.  He never seemed uncomfortable or at a loss for words.  I don’t think he ever wrote a script for anything he did, not even his opening statement.  When he questioned a witness, he didn’t have a list of questions.  He put a list of the information he needed to get out of the witness to build his case and would check off each one once he got the answer he needed.  I was intimidated by his skills just from sitting in the audience.
    2. Professor Dallyn’s Applied Evidence Class:  This course taught us how to apply the rules of evidence to a courtroom situation.  Every day we did role plays where we took turns playing the parts of the questioning attorney, the opposing counsel, and the witness who on the stand.   The final for the class was a fake trial.  I tried to use Captain Mayer’s approach to questioning a witness, but found myself needing a script of questions and feeling flustered while the opposing counsel and I were making objections.
    3. Improv AZ’s Coroner Prank #2:  I’m a founding member of Improv AZ, a local performance troupe in the Phoenix area.  After our success with the Coroner Prank on the light rail in October 2009, we decided to repeat it at a local mall.  Things did not go according to plan, and we were confronted by the mall cops who called the real cops.  My fellow coroners were former professional improv actors.  When things turned sour, they slipped back into improv mode.  I turned seven shades of white and tried not to pass out while reserving my right to remain silent.  Thankfully the cops let us go after questioning us and the mall cops banned us from the mall for three months.  Check out my legal analysis of the event and the video.

    My class started a little over two weeks ago with Jester’Z Improv and it has been amazing.  It’s a 12-week course that ends with a showcase for our friends and family.  I hope that taking this class will help improve my ability to think on my feet.

    Having been a gymnast and a singer for most of my life, you might think that taking improv acting would be easy. However, in both of these activities, the performance is completely scripted.  With improv, you don’t know what’s going to happen until you’re up on the stage.  It’s a bit unsettling when you don’t know what your partner is going to say or what scenario you might be playing out.

    I went to the Jester’Z Improv show featuring the regular cast and nearly peed my pants from laughing.  Part of me simply enjoyed the show and part of me was a student trying to absorb ideas from the actors and thinking, “Oh geez, these are the games I might be in during my showcase!  How am I going to pull this off?”  It’s going to be awesome.

    Photo courtesy of Jester’Z Improv Comedy Troupe.