The

Undeniable

Ruth

®

…and the Ruth shall set you free!

  • Day 40/90 – AA Under the Stars

    ·

    Ruth Carter

    Day 40 of the 90 Days of Awesome is in the bank! What made today awesome? I went to the Fellowship Under the Stars Alcoholics Anonymous Meeting.

    Tempe AZ - Tempe Town Lake 10th Birthday by Dean Ouellette from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
    Tempe AZ – Tempe Town Lake 10th Birthday by Dean Ouellette from Flickr (Creative Commons License)

    I’ve been in recovery for a few 24 hours, and my therapist recently suggested that I go to more 12-step meetings. I was feeling of bit lonely tonight, so I jumped on the Phoenix AA website to see what meetings were in my area. On the list was a meeting that I had never heard of: Fellowship Under the Stars. It’s an outdoor meeting that meets on the north bank of Tempe Town Lake.

    Sometimes it’s nice to go to meetings that I’ve never been to before. On one hand, it gives me a way to be quiet, shy, and avoid connecting with people (behavior that is not encouraged by my therapist). On the other hand, when I go to a new meeting, I get to just be a person. Nobody knows what I do for a living, my talents, or my accomplishments. I’m just another guy in the program. When I go to meetings where people know me, I get to connect more; however, people also ask me about my work and my projects, and it’s too easy to get caught up in talking about what I do rather than how I feel. And one of my challenges is allowing myself to be a human being, rather than a human doing.

    The meeting was fabulous. I loved that it was outside in the fresh air and under the increasingly darkening night sky. It’s a speaker/discussion meeting, one of my preferred formats for AA meetings. We kept the bugs away with awesome smelling citronella candles, and some people brought their dogs. I really enjoyed it. The next time I go, I hope I can bring Rosie.

    In case you missed it: Day 39 of the 90 Days of Awesome – I Love My Clients!

  • Day 30/90 – Real Conversations

    ·

    Ruth Carter

    Day 30 of the 90 Days of Awesome is in the bank! What made today awesome? Having real conversations with my friends.

    My friends are awesome.
    My friends are awesome.

    Even though these are the 90 Days of Awesome, I have had a few rough days lately with a substantial amount of physical and emotional pain at times. I’ve been a little MIA – mainly because I haven’t been suitable for human consumption.

    When I have the days like this, I’m lucky to have so many wonderfully supportive friends, especially in the recovery community. When they ask, “How are you?,” they want to a real answer. And we can have real conversations – even if we are doing it over email or online chat – and we’ve been having them lately. I love that I can say that I am sad, angry, irritated, anxious, pissed off for no apparent reason, and none of them try to “fix” me. They also get it when I’m struggling and need keep my life as simple as possible. They know to stay out of my way so I can just focus on one thing at a time unless I ask for help. My friends know that I’ll be there if they need me, but that they have to get on my schedule unless it’s an emergency.

    My friends are awesome. I am grateful that we can have real conversations without it being a big deal. On two separate occasions in the last few months, two different friends randomly asked, “How’s your heart?” It’s not something I talk about a lot because there isn’t anything new to say, but I appreciated that they asked.

    Sorry is post isn’t more upbeat, but sometimes that’s just how life is. I am on the mend and will bounce back eventually.

    In case you missed it: Day 29 of the 90 Days of Awesome – Indie Week Lunch at Fez!