Whenever I book a hotel room, if there’s a box on the reservation form for notes or requests, I like to type in something about being non-binary or I’ll put in something silly. One time I asked for the hotel to put a “high five” in my room, just to see what they’d do with that. I would have been tickled pink if they had taped a piece of paper with the outline of someone’s hand on it to the wall. Unfortunately, they ignore it.
I like to have fun when I travel. I’m also the person who shakes out the Gideon Bible, just in case there’s money in it.
Don’t worry. My silly antics aren’t just limited to hotels. I regularly ask servers at restaurants for a pony when they ask if they can bring anything else. Usually they smile and say something lighthearted back. But one drew me a picture of a pony on my bill. She got an extra tip that night.
Last month, I spent a few nights in Vegas for the Shankminds live mastermind event. When I booked my room at the Park MGM, I asked for the staff to refer to me as “Your Grace” and for the hotel to put an octopus made out of towels in my room.
This was what I saw when I walked into my hotel room.
I shall call you “Ocky.”
I giggled when I saw this little guy. I put him on a side table and smiled every time I looked at it for the rest of my trip. (If there is such thing as a spirit animal, I’m pretty sure mine is an octopus.)
I think asking for a towel octopus will be my new thing when I travel. I’m curious to see how other hotels execute my request.
I just paid $505 for my Arizona bar dues. That’s right,
Arizona is a pay-to-play mandatory bar. I paid $505 just so I can be a lawyer
for the next year. That’s about $42/month and just under $10/week just so I can
work in my profession.
Now, I’m not opposed to a mandatory bar, as we are a
self-regulating industry. I am opposed to a state bar not giving their members
their money’s worth. I’m definitely not getting $505 worth of value from the
State Bar of Arizona, even with our member discounts.
I have yet to meet a fellow Arizona lawyer who disagrees with me.
One thing that makes me furious with the State Bar is there
was no
need to raise our bar dues from $460 (which was already at the high end of
state bar dues). The Board of Governors approved the raise despite seeing that
the State Bar was forecast to have a multi-million dollar cash surplus at our then
rate.
Benefits of the State
Bar of Arizona
Before I continue my rant, let me give credit where credit
is due. There are some benefits to being a member of the State Bar of Arizona (besides
getting to do my job):
Ethics Hotline: The State Bar has a number where you can discuss your ethical questions with a qualified lawyer. They will usually not give you a direct answer to your question (unless it is a black-and-white issue). My first year as a lawyer, my goals were to make a profit and not get disbarred. I was on a first name basis with one of the State Bar’s ethic’s lawyers because I called so much.
Fastcase: I don’t pay for Westlaw or Lexis. I do most of my case law research with Fastcase through the State Bar. It’s not worth $505/year, but it’s a valuable resource.
Arizona Attorney Daily 5: I like getting this email every weekday from Tim Eigo, the editor of Arizona Attorney magazine. It has information about newsworthy legal stories in current events, many of which that are relate to my practice areas.
Conference Rooms: When I started my firm, I used a mailbox at a UPS Store for my address and worked from home. When I had to meet with clients, I used the conference rooms at the State Bar in Phoenix which were free to use. They need a better scheduling system, but it’s useful to those of us who live nearby.
Investigate Ethics Complaints: One thing the State Bar does is investigate complaints against lawyers. If you read the Lawyer Regulation section of our magazine, you know there are some lawyers who either need help, have no business running a law practice, and/or have no business being a lawyer. Someone needs to be the watchdog over us.
Image by tiatrcompetition20133 from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
Back to Ranting
One thing that annoys the crap of me about the State Bar is
the fact that they charge for continuing education events (CLEs) at their own
facilities. They don’t pay their speakers, so their costs to put on an event is
close to nothing, and yet they charge $54-$149 per person. You will not see me
at one of their CLEs as a speaker or a participant unless they change how they
operate.
What I’d Do Differently
If I ran the State Bar, I’d immediately assess the budget –
what’s needed and what’s not. When I asked the Bar what our dues pay for, I received
a response that said our dues cover about 60% of their budget. (And don’t
forget that cash
surplus they’re sitting on.)
Additionally, the State Bar should either offer their CLEs
at their facilities for free or pay their speakers. With the money they’re
sitting on, they could bring in some top-notch speakers who are worth every
penny.
I don’t know how the State Bar goes about getting discounts
for its members, but I want better ones. They should look for ideas on the Local First Arizona directory to see
if there are companies who might was to partner with the Bar – for office
supplies, office furniture, document shredding, marketing services, and company
shwag. Let’s keep our money supporting our community where we can. I’d also find
value in discounts for airline tickets, a custom tailor, and hotels outside the
Phoenix area, and because I’m concerned about lawyer safety, I’d love to see
discounts for self-defense classes and bulletproof undershirts.
(The one place a
lawyer can’t take their gun is into a courthouse. If someone was targeting one
of us, that would be a place where we’d most vulnerable. I don’t own a gun. I want
a bulletproof undershirt because of the rates of violence against transgender
persons.)
Putting my Money Where
my Mouth Is
My rule is you can’t bitch unless you’re willing to do
something about it. The minimum I can do is vote in the next Board of Governors
election this spring. For any incumbents, I’ll look at how they voted on the
last bar dues increase. In the candidates’ personal statements, I want to see their
ideas to reduce our bar dues and/or provide greater value to the membership. I
hope my fellow Arizona lawyers will do the same.
Photo by tedeytan from Flickr (Creative Commons License)
So many issues related to people who are not heterosexual or
cisgender come down to two issues: what to wear and where to pee. I’m non-binary.
I was assigned female at birth (AFAB), but I had my birth certificate corrected
last year. Where do I pee?
I Don’t Want to Die
My first rule for using the bathroom in public is, “Pick the
bathroom where you’re least likely to get killed.†That may seem funny at first,
but it’s a serious issue when you look at the incidents of violence against and
murders
of transgender persons.
Gender Neutral Bathrooms “in the Wildâ€
When possible, I prefer to use a gender-neutral bathroom. When
I don’t know where the bathroom is in a particular location, I’ll ask an employee,
“Where’s your gender-neutral bathroom?†to see (1) how they react to the
question and (2) whether they actually have one.
At many places, the gender-neutral bathroom is also the family
bathroom or bathroom for persons with disabilities. Even at the public pool, I use
the family bathroom instead of a locker room to get changed.
Sometimes, using the gender-neutral bathroom is the fastest
way to use the toilet because cisgender people will automatically wait in line
for other bathrooms. Last year, I attended an event at Symphony Hall. During
intermission, dozens of people were waiting in line for each bathroom. I asked
an usher where the gender-neutral bathroom was, and they directed me to a nearby
single-user bathroom with no line.
Whichever Bathroom has the Shortest Line
My general rule for situations where there is no gender-neutral
bathroom and there’s no safety issue is to use whichever bathroom has the
shortest line, which is usually the men’s room. I can pee standing up. Ok it’s with a shewee, but still, I can
do it!
Early on after realizing I was non-binary, I reached out to
a few larger venues in the Phoenix to inquire about their bathroom policies to
see how accepting they were. Surprisingly, Scottsdale Fashion Square told me
that I could use whichever bathroom I felt most comfortable using. The Arizona Diamondbacks
said that they have few gender-neutral bathrooms and those were the ones I
should use. I’ve walked laps around that stadium. If the nearest gender-neutral
bathroom is off in B.F.E. compare to my seat, I’m using the closest bathroom.
Gendered Bathrooms – But Go Wherever
There are public bathrooms, like the ones in Target, that
are labeled for a single gender – men or women – but that have a policy that
allows people to use whichever bathroom they want. The one time I needed to use
the bathroom and I was set on using the men’s room, it was closed for cleaning.
When a company has a policy like this, I wonder why they don’t
just say, “These are bathrooms. Use whichever one you want.â€
All-Gender Bathrooms
I’m a fan of the water closet model for public bathrooms. Each
stall has floor-to-ceiling walls and doors so you can’t see anything that’s
going on in the stall next to you. You get as much privacy as one can get in a
public bathroom.
Last week I attended the mastermind event, Shankminds Live,
in Las Vegas. The venue had one gender-neutral
bathroom with five water closet stalls. At first a few people seemed a little
weirded out by being in a bathroom with people of another gender, but after a
few moments, they realized it was a non-issue. When I asked my fellow
Shankminders about the bathroom after the event, several people (men and women)
responded that gender neutral bathrooms should be the norm everywhere.
One thing I will note about the bathroom at Shankminds is
there were no urinals. From what I’ve heard from guy friends, some penis-havers
like urinals – really like them. They like them so much, they wish they had one
in their home.
I respect that some people would be sad if switching to all
gender-neutral bathrooms meant losing the chance to pee at a urinal, but that doesn’t
have to be the case. I know of at least one all-gender bathroom at a club
called The Mint where there is a urinal
area where people can pee standing up where they won’t be seen by the water
closet users.
Remember: You all have gender-neutral bathrooms in your home.
Sharing a toilet with another gender hasn’t killed any of us yet. It’s only an
issue if you make it one.
